Against All Odds
by Angelhaggis
Summary: Slightly AU. After being discovered as the mole, Natalia has to rebuild the shattered trust. But her problems are far from over when her past catches up to her, threatening to destroy those she loves. Horatio/Natalia, Eric/Calleigh and OCs.
1. Alone

**This fic is slightly AU so I apologize if any of the characters are a little OOC. **

**This doesn't stick to a canon timeframe and as a result there are mentions of episodes from various seasons but not in order. Also, Horatio has already found out about Kyle, the CSIs don't know about Natalia's past and there is no Marisol (I do like her but she doesn't fit in this story). This is a Natalia/Horatio story with other original characters so if you don't like then don't read.**

* * *

Natalia Boa Vista had never felt so alone. It had been over a month since she had been uncovered as an FBI mole and still hostility lingered at every corner of the building. After her exposure, Natalia had resigned from the FBI and had tried desperately to resign from the crime lab too but the senior detectives were having none of it- telling both her and Horatio who she knew wanted her gone, that her contribution had been too great to be ignored and that technically she had done nothing wrong. Yet despite this, Natalia was still being ostracised and she truly wanted to leave the lab and start a fresh.

Coming to the lab in the first place had supposed to be a fresh start. It should have been a new beginning away from her old life and the pain that had been a daily part of it. Eight years ago a deliriously happy Natalia had married the handsome, chivalrous Nick Townsend thinking it to be the start of a fairytale life. However, soon this fairytale became a nightmare. Nick became increasingly controlling and after a while, emotionally and physically abusive, putting Natalia into the hospital many times and almost driving her to suicide. After a particularly fierce fight, Nick had broken her arm and after a traumatic ordeal she had been left for dead. It was then she had fled and gone to the authorities and Nick, for his attack, had been sentenced to imprisonment. And now, away from the spectre of her ex-husband, Natalia had to rebuild her life and learn how to be independent once more.

But she would not think about Nick; not after all that he had done to her. After all that she had endured, she deserved a new, happy life and she thought she had had it, finding for the first time in many years to be surrounded by a family of sorts. But now it was all gone and she once again found herself with nothing.

She felt tears threaten to spill at that thought, and coupled with the cold and accusing glances she was receiving from the lab workers including the CSIs, she quickly felt her emotions spiral out of control. Reaching the locker room, she sat down on one of the benches and placed her head in her hands, for once freely letting her tears of desperation and loss fall.

The last month or so had been hell. Everywhere she turned she had been met with a wall of silence. Her former colleagues like Valera had refused to speak to her and their unhappiness at running tests for her were clearly shown by the way they grudgingly presented the results before turning their backs on her. When she had tried to speak to Eric or Ryan they had ignored her and continued with their conversations whilst giving her hate-filled glances. Calleigh too ignored Natalia, acting as though she did not even exist. Even kindly Alexx had been cold to her when she had been down in autopsy.

Natalia knew she deserved it; after all she had betrayed them and broken their trust but yet it did not lessen the pain she felt as they each ignored her. Only Horatio had not said or done anything towards her; in fact Natalia had barely seen him in the last month, and when she had, she had only glimpsed his form, too short a time to determine what the Lieutenant was thinking. Not that she would have been able to tell anyway as she knew Horatio Caine kept his emotions hidden.

She could not tell how long she had sat there, crying on the bench, but she knew that she would not be disturbed and that no one would witness it. Nobody cared for her now. What little chance of being loved she had lost by her own conceited actions and Natalia felt hollow as a result. She had had her heart broken once, and had lost her friends and family through somebody else's actions but now when she had the best chance at rebuilding her life, doing a job she adored, she had screwed it up, once more losing all her friends. Natalia knew that she would always be alone. She could remember quite clearly when _he _had said the exact same thing, his menacing voice still echoing in her ears almost two years later.

_Natalia Boa Vista, you are worthless. You do not deserve to be loved. Why would anyone love you? Look at you. You are weak, ugly and thick. Nobody will ever care for you...you will always be alone._

Natalia had tried desperately to prove that he was lying-that she would be loved and that she would never be alone. But like with all else in her life, he had proved to be right and Natalia found herself to be alone.

'I am worthless.' She whispered as she succumbed to that belief. Wiping her tears away, she stood up and grabbed her things before exiting the locker room, grateful that nobody had seen her cry.

* * *

However, unknown to Natalia she had been seen. A few rows away, behind some lockers, Horatio Caine had been listening and watching Natalia's tears feeling guilty at not curbing his CSIs hostility. Although he could not condone her actions, he knew that she had actually done no real harm to the lab. But despite this, he could not help but feel a little disappointed. He knew Natalia had a real potential as a CSI-that was why he had requested she be allowed to stay and his superiors, on seeing her excellent record, had agreed.

He had trusted her; they all had, but she had proved to him, once more, that trust was not something to be taken lightly. Even though a part of him wanted to be angry at her, wanted to ostracise her like the others as punishment for her betrayal, he found he could not stomach such thoughts.

For some reason, Horatio felt protective of Natalia, more so than the others-even Eric- as he had often noticed that she put a wall up around people as though she was protecting herself. Horatio's intuition told him that something had happened in her past to cause this. And now that she was staying at Miami-Dade Lab, he was determined to uncover what it was. But little did Horatio know that uncovering Natalia's secrets would change his life forever.

* * *

**Reviews are always appreciated.**


	2. Addicted

Natalia's head thumped in agony as she tried to concentrate on the DNA in front of her. Despite her new CSI status she had, yet again, been passed over for field work. Usually such a situation would incense her but not today as she knew she was in no fit state to be out in the field due to the infuriating hangover she had acquired as a result of her drinking too many glasses of wine the night before.

She had never been much of a drinker but since her exposure as being the mole, she had found herself drinking either at home or in one of Miami's many trendy establishments until she could barely see straight. Drink was a way of cleansing her of the guilt over her betrayal and soon it became the only way she could function.

However this lifestyle was beginning to take its toll. Her once clear eyes were dulled and deep dark circles seemed to have made a permanent residence under her eyes and her lack of care had reduced her once shining and straight hair to a limp and tangled state. She was also aware that she had been wearing the same blouse for three days in a row but she did not care as after all, she was being treated like a leper with everybody taking a wide berth from her.

Before her exposure, this condition would have horrified her but now that she was public enemy number one, she had nothing left to live for and so she had given up on life. What was the point in her living if she couldn't feel alive? Alcohol was her companion- it listened, it made her forget and it never judged. It was a coping mechanism for the meagre existence she found herself to be in. It lessened the pain. It was her addiction-her lifeline. Life had given up all other meaning. Even her beloved work did little to relieve the pain. All that she had to get her through each day was the drink and besides, in their efforts to ignore her she knew that her colleagues would not have noticed. However, unknown to Natalia, this thought could not be further from the truth.

* * *

Calleigh had been the first to notice Natalia's dishevelment. Normally the Hispanic was smartly dressed and looking fresh for her work but recently she seemed to be somewhat exhausted and Calleigh noticed-as woman do- that Natalia wore the same blouse several days in a row. Although she was mad at Natalia for spying on the lab, the rational part of her kept telling her that she had never really done anything to jeopardise the lab.

Before the mole incident she had become close to Natalia, finding for the first time in years that she had a friend who could understand absolutely the passion and time she dedicated to her work; something which few other women understood. And as well as their shared passion for their work there had been other interests the two women shared and soon they had become close. But this friendship had been torn apart by the revelations that it was Natalia who was the mole and Calleigh, although she remained hurt and angry, missed the friendship the two had shared.

She was worried about Natalia. She knew that her and her colleagues' treatment of Natalia was taking its toll on her; both physically and mentally. Their punishment of the brunette for her deception had gone too far and it was becoming increasingly obvious that the woman was suffering. Guilt plagued Calleigh, and she knew that now was the right time for forgiveness and then, maybe, Natalia- and indeed the lab- would return back to normal.

* * *

Ryan too had noticed that Natalia seemed to be acting odd. Despite the anger at her actions still being strong, he could not help but feel guilty at his treatment of her. Before the mole incident, they had shared a jokey, friendly relationship and Ryan had respected the woman, thinking she was a genuinely nice person with a great sense of humour. He had become so wound up on Natalia the monster as opposed to Natalia the woman and fellow CSI that he had lost focus on what had made him like Natalia in the first place and what made her such a well-liked and respected member of their team. And on remembering this, he knew it was right that he begin to act a little nicer despite the fact it would take a long time-if ever- before he forgave her for her actions.

* * *

Before she had been uncovered as the mole, Eric had begun to think of Natalia as being almost like a sister to him. They had often debated and laughed with one another whilst at work and in their social lives, sharing many memories of their pasts. But despite this, he still always felt as though Natalia was holding something back. Sometimes he had been sure he had glimpsed fear or distrust in her eyes and at those times, Eric had felt certain that Natalia kept detached as a protective mechanism.

But now he was not so sure. In fact he had begun to think the wariness was all to do with her spying on the lab. After all, she had done an excellent job in fooling them-even fooling Horatio into believing that she was an innocent lab tech when in reality she was betraying them all. The thought that Natalia had been stringing them alone the whole time stung him and her betrayal marked one of the lowest points of his life.

Yet, despite this betrayal, Eric was still worried about her. It had not escaped his notice that she looked exhausted and almost broken. It hurt him to see her like this, even if he wanted to be angry at her and he hoped that once the lab began to forgive and forget, things would return to normal.

* * *

Horatio observed his team through the glass of his office, knowing without a shadow of a doubt that they were all thinking about Natalia. He too was worried about the woman. It too had not escaped his notice that she seemed to be distracted and unkempt and this, along with her breakdown he had witnessed in the locker room, had caused ideas to form in his head that pointed to only one conclusion; that she was drinking.

He knew the signs; he himself had seen them firsthand both from his father and from himself after a particularly hard case and the thought of Natalia turning to drink for solace chilled him to the bones. He felt sickened at the thought of the beautiful, intelligent and lively CSI giving up on life because of her mistakes. Horatio was prepared to intervene at any time. He wanted to confront her then and there. She needed help; she needed someone to talk to. But Horatio knew from experience that they would have to wait until Natalia was ready to talk. Not that waiting would be easy for the action man. But for Natalia he would wait.

* * *

That night, Natalia once more found herself taking to the bottle. This time it was something stronger than her usual red wine which she had finished the previous night. Instead she now downed vodka straight from the bottle.

The liquid tasted bitter and for a moment she thought she was going to vomit but this feeling soon passed and so she continued gulping down the liquid, looking for any release from her suffering: looking for a way to forget her life. She could already feel it working as she drank more and more of it, beginning to feel the painful stirrings of a headache. But she didn't care. All she could focus on was the bitter alcohol and finishing as many bottles of it as she could before she passed out.

As she continued to drink, her past demons came back to haunt her and she began to hear his cold voice taunting her, telling her what a failure she was. He was right of course and Natalia knew that there was no point in disagreeing with him, and so she continued drinking until she reached oblivion.

* * *

**A short chapter I know, and a chapter I wasn't particularly happy with but I promise that the action starts soon.**

**Thank you for all the reviews, alerts and favourites. I really was not sure how well the Horatio/Natalia pairing was liked so I am really pleased that people are reading this fic.**


	3. Spiralling

**Once again thank you for the reviews, favourites and alerts- they are the only payment for my writing so every single one makes me smile. One more thing- am I the only one who thinks season 10 is full of little hints at a Natalia/Horatio romance?**

* * *

The next morning Natalia staggered into the lab, feeling and looking as though she had been through a war zone. Not only was she dishevelled but she wore dark sunglasses to prevent the brightness of both the Miami sun and the lab's lights from affecting her pounding headache. She knew she looked utterly ridiculous, and the thought came to her that her fellow lab workers would think she was impersonating Horatio and she would have laughed at this thought had she not been suffering so much pain.

Natalia had fallen asleep last night after finishing the bottle and on awakening this morning, she had drunk even more. By now she was utterly intoxicated. Unfit for the Miami traffic, she had hailed a cab into work, the driver turning up his nose at the sight of her and the smell of booze emanating from her body.

Natalia knew she looked unprofessional yet she did not care. She was quickly spiralling out of control. Her life, her beloved job no longer had any meaning for her-they were inconsequential. All that was left for her in this life of misery, this life of pain, was the drink. It never judged, it never mocked. It was always there. It was her friend-her only friend.

She had noticed that the rest of the CSIs were missing and assumed they were out on a call and as usual had not informed her. Natalia sighed aloud as she began to noisily bang test tubes and other equipment as she prepared to analyse the waiting samples. She did everything in her power to procrastinate, knowing that she was in no fit state to be out of her bed.

Because of this alcohol-fuelled almost dream-like state she found herself in, she was not aware of how much time had passed until she heard footsteps approaching her lab.

Quickly, she pretended she was in the middle of analysing the samples, just as the person walked into her workspace. Hoping that whoever it was would just leave her be, she sneaked a glance up; only to have her hopes dashed when she saw it was Eric.

'Analyse this please.' His voice was gruff as he handed her a sample.

Eric watched her as she began to prepare the sample for testing, once more admiring the speed and professionalism she used when handling the samples before his attention was caught by her sunglasses.

'Why are you wearing sun glasses indoors?' He asked coolly, his interest peaked at the incongruity of anyone but Horatio wearing them.

She looked up at him and snapped, 'Oh so now you're speaking to me.' Eric was sure he heard her slurring her words as she spoke. 'What I do or wear is none of your business Delko.'

Eric was silent for a moment then he too snapped; annoyed at the way the fellow Hispanic was acting. 'Fine. I need this analysed Natalia.'

She sighed dramatically and moved around Eric to walk to the computer but in her drunken state which greatly affected her coordination and to her mortification, she found herself tripping over. 'Ooops!' She grunted as Eric caught her.

Eric narrowed his eyes and curled his nose up as he smelt the strong odour of alcohol on Natalia. 'Natalia?' She flinched from his cold voice, 'Have you been drinking?'

She pulled away sharply from his grasp and leaned against the work top. 'I don't know what you're talking about.'

'Oh really?' Eric stepped closer to her and Natalia couldn't help the shudders that passed through her as she found herself remembering past situations. Eric noticed Natalia's fear and he stopped, again finding himself wondering just what she was so afraid of.

'Natalia, you stink of alcohol, you're slurring your words and you can barely walk.' The Cuban said quietly, anger clearly present in his voice.

'I'm not drunk Eric!' Natalia spat, again slurring her words.

'Don't lie to me, Natalia.' Eric spoke furiously. Never in all his years would he have expected to see a CSI drunk at work; never mind someone as professional and hardworking as Natalia.

'What would you care Eric?' Natalia snapped.

'I care because you're a colleague and a friend.'

Natalia snorted, 'Oh so that's why you have been ignoring me for the last month.'

'What do you expect me to do Natalia, you were the mole! You spied on us, you lied to us... you lied to me!' Eric, aware he was raising his voice, quietened. 'Is that why you're drinking?'

'It is none of your business.' Natalia spoke slowly.

Suddenly, she felt a wave of nausea and she bolted to the nearest toilet, managing to get there just in time to expel what little contents her stomach held. She stayed there, leaning over the toilet until she was sure no more was coming and then she flushed the toilet and went over to the sink to wash. Once she had cleaned up, she returned to the lab and groaned as she found Eric was still there.

'Are you ok?' His concern surprised her.

'What do you think?' She retorted coldly.

'Go home Natalia. You shouldn't be here when you're drunk.' He said quietly, trying to persuade the stubborn woman who looked as though she was barely managing to stand.

'I'm fine Delko. I need to analyse this.'

'No you don't.' Eric said firmly. 'I'll get Valera to do it instead.'

'I can manage. I'm not that drunk.' She said, almost stumbling as she spoke.

'Yes you are. You need to go home. Think about it Natalia', he instructed as he noticed her stubbornly cross her arms, 'You can't run the proper tests in this state- you may end up getting the wrong results or even ruining the sample and then the perpetrator will not be convicted.'

Natalia listened silently, knowing from bitter experience that he was right. 'But what about Horatio?'

'Don't worry about H, I'll tell him that you were sick and needed to go home.'

Her eyes widened, 'Eric, I can't ask you to do that.'

'Tough. You need to go home Natalia.' Eric stared at her stubbornly, unrelenting in his beliefs. He was truly worried about the woman, she seemed to be verging closer and closer to the edge and this latest incident clearly stated that she was in desperate need of help.

Finally Natalia nodded and complied with Eric's request. As she exited the lab she noticed that Calleigh was watching her, but she did not falter in her steps. She knew Eric was right, she should never have come in but she hated to be in the house on her own. It was devoid of any feelings, any personality as it had barely any personal items in it as she had never been allowed to own much and what little she had owned, she had left behind when she had fled Nick.

* * *

Eric was true to his word in covering for Natalia. He had taken the samples to Valera who had efficiently analysed them, without asking any questions as to why Natalia was not doing it. He was then called into the conference room with the rest of the team as they discussed their case. Once Ryan, the last one in, sat down Horatio looked around questioningly. 'Where is Miss Boa Vista?'

'I saw her earlier.' Calleigh's southern twang answered.

'She had to go home, H. She was sick.' Eric answered when Horatio's gaze fell upon him.

'I was not informed about this.' Horatio said, staring at Eric intently, sensing the younger man was hiding something.

'Yeah sorry H, I got a little caught up in the evidence. But she was really sick. It was better that she went home so she wouldn't contaminate evidence.'

'Ok.' Horatio nodded and began to address the CSIs.

Eric felt relieved that Horatio did not push further. It was very hard-in fact impossible- to hide things from his boss but he had promised Natalia that he would protect her. It was obvious she was in a low place and needed all the help she could get and he was not about to make it more difficult for her by admitting to Horatio the real reason Natalia had been sent home.

Calleigh was too busy watching Eric to listen to what Horatio was saying. She knew that he was covering for Natalia. Contrary to most assumptions, the southern belle was not stupid and she had witnessed Natalia's strange behaviour earlier and her confrontation with Eric. She caught the Cuban's eye and shot him a look, telling him she knew he was lying.

Checking nobody was watching he mouthed to her, 'I'll tell you later.'

Eric however had not done as good a job covering as he thought he had. Horatio knew that the Cuban was covering for Natalia but he did not know why. Although he would never admit it, he was concerned. After fighting so hard for her to stay, he did not want her to leave. He could not deal with her leaving; he had gotten far too used to seeing her beautiful face every day.

Horatio shifted uncomfortably, hating these thoughts, unsure why he was even thinking them. He could never have Natalia. She was far too good for him. She was the sort of woman who was suited to only the best of men not a CSI Lieutenant who was emotionally distant. Once he had finished briefing his team, he put on his shades and headed for the hummer, vowing to put any more thoughts of Natalia Boa Vista clearly out of his head.


	4. Uncovering Her Secrets

**This chapter contains material from the Season 4 Episode 'Collision'. A small warning that there are descriptions of abuse at the end of this chapter which some readers may find upsetting.**

* * *

A few days later after the drunken incident, Natalia was finally called into a crime scene; but only, she bitterly noted, because the others needed backup. Crossing under the yellow tape, she could see the remains of a car which was badly damaged due to its impact with a concrete barrier. As she walked up to the crime scene, she could feel the eyes of the uniformed officers on her, some were whispering, others were merely staring at the woman they perceived to be a threat. Once she reached the car, she saw Horatio talking to Tripp and so she walked towards them.

As she passed him, Ryan glared at her and then looked to Eric, speaking coldly, 'What is she doing here?'

It was Calleigh who answered him, 'She's a CSI Ryan and besides Horatio called her. He said she needed experience.' Whether or not the blonde was happy about the other woman's presence it was impossible to determine as she kept her expression neutral.

'Lieutenant, you called me.'

On hearing her voice, Horatio turned towards her, studying her carefully. Noticing that the Lieutenant seemed to now be concentrating on his new CSI, Tripp murmured his excuses and walked away.

'Yes... Miss Boa Vista, I need you to process any DNA samples that are in the car.'

'The victim?' She asked, noticing Alexx directing two men as they lifted the body out of the vehicle.

'ID says she's Angela Ross.'

Natalia nodded. 'Cause of death?'

'Unable to determine yet.' Horatio stared at his CSI closely, but his expression was impossible to decipher.

Finding herself to feel somewhat uncomfortable, Natalia again nodded.

She was about to speak again when Alexx walked past, leading the entourage which carried the body. As they passed, Natalia couldn't help the small gasp that escaped her lips as she recognised the victim.

Horatio, noticing this, looked to her, 'Miss Boa Vista do you know the victim?'

Startled, Natalia looked up at Horatio and for a moment she felt sure she was about to confess but she stayed silent knowing that she was not ready to divulge the secrets of her past. 'No I've never seen her before, it's just you know, seeing the body.'

'I understand.' Horatio said looking at her carefully. He could never get over how beautiful she was. He had noticed the first time he had been introduced to her and even now her beauty hit him like a wave, every time he set his eyes upon her. It was so wrong for him to think such thoughts as she was his subordinate after all and he was not prepared to jeopardise her career just because of his childish feelings.

'I better go and swab the car.' Natalia said quickly walking away.

Horatio watched her as she left; knowing she was hiding something and judging by her reaction he suspected she had lied and that she did indeed know the victim. But why deny it? _What are you hiding Natalia? _And as he mused he placed on his specs and walked off, glancing at the woman one last time as he did.

Natalia blinked back tears as she thought about the woman lying on the trolley. Although she did not know her well, they had both been victims of abuse at the hands of their husbands and from what little Natalia knew about Angela Ross -or as she knew her, Barbara Sommers- she knew that she was a kind, friendly woman who did not deserve to die.

Settling down her kit, Natalia ignored the glares from her colleagues as she began to swab the car, concentrating deeply, knowing she had to do it right for Barbara's sake and for the sake of bringing her murderer to justice.

* * *

As the investigation progressed, Natalia knew she had to remain quiet about her connection to the victim. She was already hated throughout the lab, the last thing she needed was for her past to become the subject of gossip. Even telling Horatio was out of the question as she couldn't bear for him to know the truth. He would treat her differently, she was sure of it. He would think she was weak and unable to cope and Natalia hated the idea of that. She wanted to make Horatio Caine proud- he was the first man she had trusted for so very long and she knew that he had been nothing but kind to her even though she thought he wanted her out of the lab.

In every respect he had been her saviour, offering her the life-changing chance of working at the lab and the guilt she felt at abusing such trust and kindness was immense. He was different from the other men she had been surrounded with in her life. She didn't fear him, despite his reputation and his actions for pursuing justice no matter the cost. Even around Ryan, Eric and Tripp, she still occasionally felt uncomfortable-not because of their behaviour but because of her past experiences which still left her feeling vulnerable.

But Horatio Caine was different. There was something so enigmatic about the handsome Lieutenant that she couldn't help but be drawn to him. It was foolish she knew, to have such thoughts as after all it was almost hilarious to think that the legendary Horatio Caine would have any feelings for someone as damaged as her. Natalia sighed sadly as she looked back down through her microscope, concentrating once more on her work.

* * *

Horatio stood watching the social worker try to interact with Danny, the son of the victim who was now known to be Barbara Sommers. As he watched the boy, he couldn't help but think of his own son Kyle, who was fighting in Afghanistan and the love he felt for him. Learning he was a father had changed his life in so many ways. He had always had a connection with children, but now as a father, the thought of an adult hurting a child caused his temper to boil.

Although Kyle had only been in his life a short while, the bond they had had been instantaneous and he felt just as much love for him as he would if he had been a part of his life for years. Despite this love he would always regret missing the milestones of Kyle growing up and now that he no longer feared being a father, Horatio often found himself fantasising about having another child, a sibling for Kyle to dote on but he knew this was near impossible as there was no woman who would put up with his stubborn and reckless ways.

His mind also wondered to thoughts of Natalia and the feeling that she was hiding something from him. It wasn't just the way she reacted when she saw the body but her demeanour in general. It was as though she had this wall around her; as though she was constantly on guard and this wall was her protection. He had noticed it the first time he had met her and she had seemed to retract further behind it during the whole mole incident.

It was obvious that Natalia was haunted by her past and had suffered badly and Horatio couldn't help the anger rise within him at that thought. He did not know why he had such strong, raging emotions around the Hispanic but he knew that as her boss, he had to keep them locked up and remain utterly professional around her. But despite this determination, this was proving harder than he had ever thought possible.

Natalia walked slowly up to Horatio, noticing the way he watched the boy. For a brief second she found herself staring in awe at the Lieutenant, finding once again respect to well up inside her at the concern and protectiveness he offered the boy. Snapping herself out of these thoughts, she stopped behind him.

'Is that the victim's son and social worker?' Natalia asked quietly, watching the young boy.

'Yes and he is terrified to talk.' Horatio answered, continuing to watch the child.

'Abused?' She asked, her voice shaking of its own accord.

'Possibly.' Horatio answered, turning towards Natalia on noticing the tremors in her voice. Before he could ask what was wrong, the social worker saw him and walked out of the room and towards him.

'Ma'am how's he doing?' Horatio asked.

I told him about his mother, he's processing.'

'Ok, it looks like he was trained to keep silent.' Horatio commented.

'Seems like it.' The social worker nodded.

'So he's afraid of telling the truth?' Natalia asked.

Horatio again noticed the tremors in her voice as she spoke and felt himself filled with worry for his CSI.

'It's possible. Fear level's off the chart. I can't tell why. This is going to be a difficult case.'

'Thank you ma'am.' He said politely.

'Thanks Lieutenant.' The social worker smiled before walking back to the boy.

'Miss Boa Vista', Horatio said softly, turning around to face her, 'Are you ok?'

'Yeah.' She nodded unconvincingly as she continued to stare at the boy. Unconvinced, Horatio continued to stare at her and noticing this, she glanced back to him, 'You know I'm fine.'

As she walked away, her eyes were transfixed on the boy. Horatio watched her deeply concerned. As he thought about the woman's reaction to the boy, an idea hit him, an idea that sickened him and filled him with utter unadulterated horror, and rage. Glancing back in the direction Natalia had disappeared to, he prayed for both Natalia's sake-and for the boy's-that he was wrong.

As he noticed Alexx approaching, another idea hit him and he quickly gained her attention. 'Alexx the casts...'

She furrowed her brow, 'On Barbara?'

'Yeah.'

'I was on my way down to start.'

'Ok I want you to hold off so we can fluoroscope the body.'

'Looking for anything special?'

'I am but I don't want to lead you.'

She raised her eyebrows. 'Ah... that keeps it interesting. Give me 30 minutes.'

'Got it.' Horatio nodded as Alexx walked off, desperately hoping on the one hand that just for once in his life he was wrong but on the other, determined to uncover Natalia's secrets.

* * *

Natalia walked through the corridors, her mind in turmoil, praying that Horatio would not discover her secret. She could not bear it if he of all people were to know her secret. The looks of pity, the extra protection...such thoughts sickened her. She wanted to be the independent woman she had been before Nick not the shell of a woman she now was. On seeing Eric approach, she forced herself to calm down and faked a smile.

'Hey Natalia.'

'Hey! Hey how's your evidence going with Barbara Sommers? I hear you guys are stuck on your end.'

'Yes you would hear that wouldn't you.' Eric stated coldly.

Natalia's eyes narrowed and then she snorted, 'Yeah no, no I get it. As the lab's resident mole I must be treated like a leper and have no knowledge of the other evidence. But may I remind you Eric that I'm a CSI and that I'm actually working on this case with you.' Natalia spat out coldly.

Eric looked at her for a moment before sighing, 'You're right I'm being silly. Eh let's start over ok? The case is weird, I mean you know that yourself. We have a woman...'

'Barbara Sommers.' Natalia stated.

'Well if that's even her name. I mean, her kid won't talk, her identity keeps changing, she stole this necklace and someone killed her. We've got nothing!' He groaned.

'Maybe her past caught up with her.' Natalia said nervously, crossing her arms almost protectively over her chest.

'What does that mean?' Eric asked suspiciously, noticing Natalia seemed to look somewhat guilty.

'Nothing, it's just...uh...you know some people have secret lives.' She said solemnly, looking very nervous.

'What kind of secret lives?'

'Nothing I've already said enough ok, just try to think of her as a person.' Natalia finished, beginning to walk away.

Eric grabbed her wrist and Natalia successfully fought the urge to flinch. 'Hey wait a minute. You know something you're not saying?'

'No.' Natalia sighed looking around nervously.

'You know you say something like this and you tell me you know nothing and I'm supposed to believe that...I need to know the truth.' He demanded, staring at her intently.

Natalia stared frostily back, 'You know what- forget I tried to help.' And she strode away, obviously offended. Eric stood there for a second, his jaw hardening in suspicion before he turned and walked away.

* * *

Almost an hour later, Natalia was busy analysing DNA from the car when she noticed Alexx and Horatio stopping outside. Her heart filled with dread at the sight of Alexx passing Horatio a document and Horatio's facing hardening in obvious anger. Natalia felt her stomach sink as she realised that he had discovered Barbara's secret and by default hers too.

As he examined the image of the fluoroscope, Horatio felt sickened as his worst fears were confirmed.

The sorrow in Alexx's eyes mirrored his. 'I fluoroscoped the body Horatio and what I found made me sick.'

'I don't blame you Alexx', Horatio put down the picture. 'This is abuse.' He spoke hardly, closing his eyes momentarily as he realised the implications of the findings and as old memories threatened to surface.

Alexx continued talking, 'Ribs, nose, fingers, arms, ankles...I counted fourteen breaks and it couldn't have come from the crash because they've all healed.'

'Beaten within an inch of her life.' Horatio stated his voice filled with anger.

Alexx spoke sadly, 'For years judging by the density of the knitted bone.'

'This was why she was running and this is why the boy won't talk.'

Horatio strode purposefully away and as he did he noticed, out of the corner of his eye, Natalia watching him with tears in her eyes. Horatio felt his heart lurch as finally he knew Natalia's secret. Part of him wished that he had never found out. The thought of anyone hurting her made him feel physically sick but he was also glad he had found out. Now he could protect her.

* * *

Natalia walked towards the red-haired Lieutenant who had summoned her to meet him in a secluded area of the lab. She was deeply nervous as she knew without a shadow of a doubt that her fears had come true and that Horatio had uncovered her secrets.

'Lieutenant.' Natalia greeted.

'Eric said you may have info on the case and it's possible that she's part of an organization.' He turned to face her directly, 'An underground organization that protects abused women.' His bright blue eyes pierced her as he finished, looking straight into her brown pools, desperate to unravel her secrets.

Natalia inhaled deeply, 'I know she is. I belong to the same group.'

'I'm sorry?' Horatio was shocked, even though he had been certain that she had been abused, it was still painful to hear her admit such a thing.

'I...' she looked down, 'I was abused by my ex-husband for eight years. I know what she suffered- the pain, the degradation the humiliation. The organization looks after me in the same way it did for her...' She trailed off before speaking once more, this time a lot stronger. 'It's an organization that prides itself on its anonymity but I think I can help.'

Horatio shifted as her words sunk in. 'Ok...this is obviously a big decision for you. Why don't you take some time with it?'

'Give me an hour; I'll call some of my contacts. They're spread out everywhere; it's like a big family.'

'I understand. Thank you.'

Natalia nodded and began to walk away but Horatio's voice stopped her.

'Are you safe now?' His eyes were probing, desperate to know.

She was silent for a moment, unsure how to answer. Then finally she spoke.

'He's...he's in jail. I'm ok.'

Horatio nodded. 'Good.' Natalia nodded and walked away, leaving the Lieutenant behind.

He watched her walk away, his heart filled with sorrow for the woman but also anger that someone dared treat her in such a disgusting manner. Afraid his eyes would so openly express his emotions, he quickly put on his shades before heading out into the Miami sun.

* * *

The end of the shift could not come quickly enough for Natalia who was eager to leave the lab. After she had found out from her contacts Barbara's married name, they had charged Barbara's husband with murder and although she was glad that he would never again hurt Barbara or his son, Natalia couldn't help feel sadness at the thought of Danny growing up knowing his father murdered his mother. As she gathered her bag and coat, she had watched Horatio interact with the boy and couldn't help but think that he seemed to bond well with children and that he portrayed an air of being a great father, even if he had only found out about his teenage son Kyle a short time ago.

Watching her boss interact with the boy, had made her wonder if it was possible that one day she too might have children-natural or adopted. She had never really thought much about children as there had always been something else of greater importance in her life and she had always been very much focussed on her career. But seeing the way her boss acted around Danny filled her with optimism for the future that perhaps, one day she would find a family and a place where she belonged.

Natalia finally reached the elevator but as luck would have it, she was prevented from entering by Eric who obviously wanted to talk. The two faced each other awkwardly for a moment before he finally spoke.

'Look I'm sorry.'

'For what?'

'For the things I couldn't have known.' He said quietly.

'Then why the apology?'

'Because I think you deserve one. I heard how you helped break the case on Barbara Sommers' background.'

'Well I, um, still...stuff that happened in my past, it's not your fault.' Natalia whispered, feeling uncomfortable.

'Well earlier today, that was the past so I'm sorry.'

'Accepted.' She smiled. The elevator's doors opened and she made her way over, Eric walking alongside.

'Calleigh, Ryan and I were wondering if you wanted to come get a drink with us?' He asked.

For a moment Natalia wanted to refuse but as she thought about it she realised that if she had learnt anything from Barbara Sommers, then it was to live life while she could and so Natalia smiled warmly, 'I would love to.'

And on seeing the woman's warm, contagious grin, Eric smiled back before escorting her to meet the others. As they walked together, Natalia felt herself breathe for the first time in a long time. She may not be forgiven by her colleagues but the invitation for drinks was a step in the right direction and perhaps she would soon have friends once more.

* * *

Horatio was the only one not out for drinks that night. Instead, he sat in his office doing paperwork until it was late and only the skeletal cover of the nightshift remained. Once he was sure he would have no interruptions, he accessed the police database on his computer and after searching for a few minutes, pulled up the file he was looking for.

He was glad he was alone so that nobody could witness his fury as he looked at the pictures contained within the file. What he saw sickened him. Picture after picture detailed the abuse Natalia had faced at the hands of her husband. From the file, Horatio saw that she had suffered cracked ribs, a broken arm, black eyes, a dislocated jaw, and a dislocated shoulder. Burn marks suspected to have been caused by a lighter lined her upper arms and shoulders and there were multiple lacerations to her torso and back caused by a belt. But worst of all was a picture taken just three years before of dark, fingerprint-shaped bruises around Natalia's neck, obviously caused by attempted strangulation.

He was shaking with rage as he read the file. Not only did it bring back terrible memories for him but it ignited an almost primal urge to kill Natalia's ex-husband as he viewed the heartbreaking pictures of a woman whose eyes showed no desire to live. What made him especially mad was the fact that she had never reported him, coming up with stories about falling down stairs or into doors even though it was perfectly obvious what had really happened.

Horatio had little tolerance of criminals but he had even less for those who abused their spouses or children. But Natalia, she was different- different in a way Horatio could not-would not- admit. And he knew that if he ever had the 'pleasure' of meeting Natalia's ex-husband then he would put a bullet in him even though it was too good a revenge for all that Natalia suffered. But revenge was not something, Horatio knew, that Natalia was interested in. She wanted to rebuild her life and that was something Horatio intended to help her with.


	5. Falling

**This chapter contains scenes from the episodes 'Curse of the Coffin' and 'Darkroom'.**

* * *

Ever since the secrets of her past had been exposed and that first night out with the team, Natalia was feeling less ostracised. Although at first that had mostly to do with her colleagues' pity, this had quickly been quashed through the actions of Horatio and Eric and later on Ryan and Calleigh who all knew that Natalia didn't want to-nor should she-be treated like a victim. She was a survivor. Even the distrust of her, which had lingered for so long, was beginning to dissipate as both her fellow CSIs and the labrats witnessed her hard work and indeed she soon proved to be a vital ingredient in the workings of the team.

Natalia sighed as she exited the crime lab after a particularly long shift. The case they had just finished had given the team somewhat of a headache. Not only had they encountered Santeria which managed to frighten Ryan, but Horatio had survived a near death in a car bomb and Natalia too had survived an explosion when the glass table, which had suffered a crack after Eric slammed a pick axe upon it, shattered due to the vibrations from the centrifuge, coating Natalia in glass shards and blood from the vials.

Luckily not only had she been unharmed but not all of the evidence had been compromised and they soon had established the identity of the killer. Yet despite knowing the murderer's identity she had eluded them and whilst that was frustrating, now knowing who it was meant the person would never truly be safe as she would constantly be hunted by the US authorities.

Natalia broke out of these thoughts and smiled as finally she spotted the man she had been searching for, standing outside in the Miami sun, his bright red-hair looking like a mop of fire in the illumination of the sun's rays.

A smile escaped Horatio as he noticed a smiling Natalia approach. His smile widened slightly as she came to a halt in front of him. 'Heard you had a close call today.' She stated her smile dropping as it was replaced with concern.

'Well...' he said looking down and then meeting her eyes, 'We all did.' He failed to keep his own worry out of his voice as he gazed at the exotic woman in front of him. 'Did you get a chance to see Alexx?'

Natalia rolled her eyes, 'Yeah I feel like a total pincushion and I should know if I'm healthy in about a week.' Although she shrugged dismissively, she failed to hide her own concern about the results. There had been a lot of blood spilt on her and any drop of it could have been contaminated with a disease which already could be infecting her.

'Good.' He said, looking directly into her eyes, concerned. 'If you um...' He trailed off, not usually one to suffer nerves at talking to a woman but around Miss Boa Vista this often seemed to be the case. 'If you feel you need to take some time, that's ok.'

Gratefulness swelled up in Natalia as she knew Horatio tended to want his people to work to the bone until their killer was caught, and she once more found herself overwhelmed by the kindness of the Lieutenant. 'Thank you, I think I'm going to be more use here though.' She smiled, feeling herself be hypnotised by Horatio's bright eyes.

'Ok.' He nodded.

'I guess you never know when death is coming.' Natalia furrowed her brow.

'No we don't, that's why we shouldn't live in fear of it.' Horatio spoke quietly.

'You're right,' she nodded, 'You're right. Then I'll see you tomorrow.' She smiled, Horatio Caine having once more injected some confidence into her, something she had been devoid of for so long.

'I will see you tomorrow.' Horatio confirmed and Natalia smiled before walking off.

Horatio turned and watched her go; admiring his CSI completely. Not only was she a beautiful woman but she possessed a strength, a determination which was truly inspiring. Natalia was one of the strongest people he knew. There was something about her, something that drew him to her like a moth to a flame. It was like she was his new found addiction and he found himself being unable to wait until tomorrow for when he saw her again. And with this thought in his mind, he put on his shades and did something so abnormal for him; he smiled again.

* * *

Natalia walked in to the room where Ryan and Calleigh were discussing the evidence which lay spread out on the examining table. She waited until they finished their discussion before she spoke. 'Hey. Are these the photographs from the safe?'

Calleigh, who was looking down at the photos, looked up at the Hispanic. 'Yeah Ryan found them.'

Natalia examined the photos, looking at each girl in turn, feeling sickened at the thought that all these young, innocent girls had been chosen as victims of a sadistic mind. Her eyes stopped on one photo in particular and a wave of horror threatened to overwhelm her as she recognised the girl.

'Oh my god.' She drew out, pointing to the picture in question.

'What?' Calleigh asked, hearing the alarm in Natalia's voice.

'That's...that's Anya!'

'Who's Anya?'

Ignoring this question, Natalia immediately dialled her cell. 'Voicemail', she commented, 'Anya it's me...um...I'm...I'm worried so call me.'

Once she hung up she handed her cell to Ryan. 'Will you just keep hitting redial? I'm going to go check something out.' She hurriedly walked away, leaving a very worried Calleigh and a confused Ryan behind. Ryan looked to the blonde, 'Who's Anya?'

Calleigh just shook her head in shock.

* * *

Natalia strode over to Valera. 'Are those the samples for the DNA bill?'

Valera nodded, 'Yeah they're almost ready.'

'I've got one more sample for you.'

Valera sighed and spoke sharply to Natalia, resentment still remaining for Natalia betraying the lab, 'You've worked in here Natalia you know that evidence admissions are processed in order so you wait for the next run.'

'Valera', Natalia spoke sharply, 'One of those pictures is my sister.'

Valera's eyes widened, 'That rates a jump.'

Natalia swabbed her own cheek thoroughly before giving it to her colleague. 'Please compare it against the other samples.'

'I'm sorry...I.' Maxine stuttered.

'Just do it now ok?' Natalia snapped.

Without saying anything else Valera analysed the sample as Natalia watched anxiously. Natalia had never felt so scared before, not even when she had endured the beatings by her husband. Anya was her little sister, her responsibility and she would never be able to live with herself with anything was to happen to her. The minutes she waited seemed like hours and he fidgeted with her necklace before pacing around as both women anxiously waited for the results. The second the results were printed she grabbed them and stared in silence at them.

Her thoughts were broken by a smooth, deep voice. 'Miss Boa Vista?' Horatio spoke, concern in his voice and features. 'What's going on?' He asked, walking forwards.

Natalia stared at him and when she spoke, her voice was strained, 'Girl in the tollbooth car; that's my sister. We have to find her Lieutenant.'

Horatio's first emotion was shock and then pain as he noticed Natalia's terrified expression and he nodded solemnly, 'We will.' And it was a vow that he intended to fulfil; an attack on Natalia's family was an attack on Natalia and he would treat it as though it was also an attack on him. And he wouldn't stop until they found Anya and Natalia was happy once more.

* * *

Natalia walked towards the large gathering of media who stood listening to Horatio's press conference. Once he had finished she walked over to him.

'Lieutenant, thank you for not mentioning my sister.'

'No problem. How do you think her photograph ended up in the gallery?'

'Ever since she was a little girl, she's always wanted to be a star. She loved having her picture taken.' Natalia smiled at the memories.

'When was the last time you talked to her?' He asked softly.

'A few days.'

'Ok. Take a uniform, go to her apartment and go through it with a fine tooth comb.'

'What am I looking for?'

'Anything related to her last twenty-four hours.' She nodded and began to move away but then stopped and looked back to him.

'Lieutenant...just...just get her back safely.' Her voice trembled.

Horatio felt his heart constrict at the fearful expression his CSI wore and he found himself vowing determinedly to catch the man responsible for taking her sister and causing her this pain. 'I will. I promise.'

Natalia nodded slowly, convinced of his words. 'Good.' And she walked away once more leaving a determined Horatio behind.

* * *

Ryan walked briskly up to Natalia; preparing to tell her about the leak to the media of her sister's name. 'Natalia there's something you should know.'

'What?' She asked worriedly but before Ryan could answer, Natalia's cell began ringing. 'Oh my god it's my sister.' She answered it, 'Anya? Where are you?'

'_I only have a second I'm in a house I think it's near the water...I don't know.' _Suddenly the phone went dead.

Natalia looked up at Ryan, her eyes filling with tears. 'They're going to kill her Ryan.'

'No listen, no listen. If she called it means she's still alive right? So focus.' He said comfortingly, drawing her into a tight embrace as finally her strong facade broke.

Horatio watched from a distance, wishing with all his heart that it was him who was embracing Natalia and offering her comfort- not Ryan. He knew it was unreasonable to have such jealousy but when it came to Natalia Boa Vista it was as though his mind stopped operating clearly and that he turned back into being an uncertain adolescent. But seeing her so distraught made his conviction only harden that he would find her sister.

* * *

Natalia walked towards the blonde newsreader with anger filling her every step. 'Hey news chick.' She spat coldly. 'Do you realise you've signed my sister's death warrant?'

'I know you're angry but I'm just reporting the facts.'

Natalia pointed furiously at the blonde, 'You've tied her to law enforcement. That makes her a primary target. Do you deny that?'

Before the reporter could respond, Calleigh had jumped in front of Natalia, separating the two women, 'Nat. This is exactly what she wants; don't give it to her, ok? I'll meet you inside.'

As she marched off, Natalia cast a hateful glare towards Erica.

'You do understand where I'm coming from don't you?' Erica asked Calleigh.

Calleigh nodded, 'I do. I understand you have a job to do just like the rest of us.'

'Thank you.' The reporter said smugly.

'I also understand your need for attention may have put those girls' lives in even more danger.'

'My need for attention?' Erica asked gobsmacked.

Calleigh nodded in response, 'You didn't just report the news you chose a salacious angle. That's more attention for you.'

'I'm a journalist I want my attention on my stories.'

'If that were true sweet pea you'd be writing for a newspaper, not planting your face on the evening news. Have a nice day.'

And with a triumphant smirk, Calleigh Duquesne walked off leaving a shell-shocked reporter behind. Calleigh smiled to herself, she had wanted to do that to Erica for so long and it truly felt good as Erica deserved it for putting Natalia's sister in danger. Now all that was left to do was find Anya and she knew they would; they always did.

Furthermore, Horatio was even more determined than usual- and Calleigh knew a determined Horatio was a dangerous one. Calleigh sensed that there was something more than just colleague concern with Horatio but she did not want to read too much into it. Both Horatio and Natalia were not the sort of people to take it kindly if someone went nosing in their affairs. And so Calleigh maintained her concentration on finding Anya and not on fantasising about the mysteries of the Lieutenant and Natalia.

* * *

Natalia rushed out of the car, tears welling up in her eyes as she saw her sister standing there. She ran to her and immediately gathered her in a tight embrace.

'Are you mad at me?' Anya asked, smiling in relief as she felt the comforting warmth of her sister's body.

'Yes I am so...' Natalia trailed off as she placed her forehead on her sister's. 'Oh my god.' She sighed, turning to a smiling Horatio. 'Thank you.'

'Not a problem', Horatio smiled sincerely. And he meant it. For Natalia he would go to hell and back, and seeing her so happy made his heart react in ways he had never felt it react before.

* * *

'Miss Boa Vista.' Horatio greeted on seeing her approach. 'How's Anya doing?'

She took a deep breath, 'Time will tell.'

'She's lucky to have you.' He meant every word; anybody who had Natalia's love was lucky indeed. Natalia smiled at his words, feeling a lump of emotion in her throat.

'Horatio...' He noticed it was the first time she had ever said his name and the sound of it on her lips, made his heart beat quickly-something that was a rare occurrence for the Lieutenant. It sounded so incredibly right. For a moment, Horatio thought Natalia wanted to say something but she quickly switched track. 'Did you know there's a different case in California-different suspect, same MO.'

'I'm not surprised.' Horatio commented.

'All these women they could be anywhere. Where do we start?'

Horatio put his shades on, 'We take it nationwide.' And with that, the Lieutenant walked away.

Natalia watched him leave, feeling her heart quicken in its pace as she thought about all the things he had done for her since she had started at the lab. He was truly a great man and he had showed her that good men still existed in this world. She wanted to tell him how she felt; she really did and she had been about to just moments before but as usual she had been too cowardly to do so. But she knew he would never feel the same way-not only was he her superior but he was too good for somebody as damaged as she. It was people like Calleigh that Horatio deserved; beautiful, strong, determined, not scarred and frightened women like her. But yet she couldn't help the feelings that manifested every time he came near her and Natalia knew without a shadow of a doubt that she was beginning to fall in love with Horatio Caine. And unknown to her, Horatio was falling in love with her.

* * *

**Thank you for the continued support. I am not entirely happy about this chapter but thought it was about time I updated.**


	6. Fallen

**Thank you for the support for the last chapter. I will be honest in saying that I'm not in the least bit happy with this chapter but I hope you enjoy it anyway. Chapter contains excerpts from 'Count Me Out'.**

* * *

The door blasted open from the force of Ryan's kick. Immediately after regaining both his footing and his breath, he raised his gun, anticipating any trouble that could occur inside the house. Checking the immediate vicinity was clear, he motioned Natalia to follow as he entered the house. There was no response to his call of 'MDPD!' and both CSIs ventured further into the house, looking down at the various clutter on the floor of what they strongly suspected to be a crime scene.

'You smell that?' Natalia looked to Ryan who sniffed the air. 'Smells like Ammonia. My god!' She knelt down, looking through the various items littered on the floor.

'Rat poison', Ryan confirmed picking up a container, 'Ammonia...duck tape...latex gloves...I think it's safe to say there's something going on here.'

'Yeah.' Natalia agreed.

'I think the ammonia smell is coming from this blanket.' Ryan picked up a tattered blanket, examining it carefully for any indication of it having blood or fibres Both their attentions were broken by the sound of a glass smashing, coming from the nearby room and they stood up quickly, their guns once more raised in anticipation.

'Miami Dade PD!' Natalia called out, her eyes widening in realisation as they entered the room. 'We've obviously interrupted something.'

'Meth lab.' Ryan nodded.

Their eyes quickly scanned the room, stopping in horror as they noticed a glass jar cracking from the heat as flames began to lick upwards, melting the apparatus and coming ever closer to the flammable drug.

'Oh my god it's going to blow!'

'Nat let's go! GO!' Ryan shouted, grabbing her before the pair turned and fled.

They were half way to the front door when the explosion ripped through the meth lab. The force of the blast threw the CSIs onto the ground, winding them as the searing flames flew overhead, licking their backs. Debris of various sorts began to fall down around them, landing on top of their still bodies. Natalia cried out in pain as an empty bookcase landed on top of her, effectively pinning her to the ground. It felt like time stopped as she lay there, pinned to the ground, scarcely breathing as the debris settled around her, coating her in a thick layer of dust. Disorientated, the first thing she became aware of was a shrill ringing in her ears and then panic hit her as she realised she was trapped as fire raged about her.

She was broken out of her terror by Ryan's screams, 'Natalia? Natalia?' Her colleague rushed to her aid on hearing her terrified cries.

'I can't move.' She cried out and he immediately began to claw away at the debris, removing some of it before trying to lift the heavy bookcase from her body. Seeing the flames spread ever closer, Natalia looked up at him. 'Ryan go!'

Knowing that she was telling him to save himself, Ryan ignored her. 'I'll get you out.' He promised, struggling desperately to shift the bookcase.

'Go Ryan! Just Go!' She screamed desperately, knowing that it was attempts to save her were futile and trying to save Ryan from the spreading inferno.

At that exact moment, Natalia's saviour arrived in the shape of Horatio. He had been heading back to the lab when he had heard reports of an explosion at the address of their suspected crime scene. A feeling of dread had infected him that one moment and he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Natalia was there; trapped. The next few minutes had passed in a blur as Horatio broke every traffic law in Miami; as he battled desperately to save Natalia. All he could focus on was Natalia's beautiful smiling face and the thought of her burning in that house utterly destroyed him. And now his heart threatened to implode on seeing her helpless and trapped under a monster of a bookcase.

'Mr Wolfe!' He shouted out, coming to the younger man's assistance as they lifted the bookcase, roaring with the exertion of moving it. It took all of both men's strength to lift the bookcase but finally, with a great shudder, they managed to pry it off of Natalia, throwing it away from her body. As soon as Natalia was free, Horatio gathered Natalia in his arms, stroking her cheek comfortingly; acute relief flooding him in a manner he had never experienced before. 'Here we go.' He spoke softly as he part-carried, part-dragged her outside to safety, leading her towards the quickly approaching blare of sirens.

Ryan, who followed the pair, noticed that Horatio's only concern was Natalia and it surprised him, especially when he witnessed the worry in his boss's eyes-something which was rare indeed and it was causing him to see Horatio and Natalia's partnership in a completely different light. And looking back, he remembered how on hearing Horatio's voice, Natalia had instantly calmed as well as the way she had seemed to almost instinctively place herself into Horatio has he gathered her in his arms. Yes it was all beginning to form a very interesting picture indeed. He glanced over to where Natalia sat on a stretcher, reluctantly receiving aid from the EMT and Ryan found himself biting his lip as he noticed the way Horatio hovered, almost protectively, as though waiting to come to Natalia's aid.

'I'm good.' Natalia said politely, pushing the medic's hands away from her face, loathing anyone touching her.

'You need checked out.' Horatio said firmly.

'I'm fine Horatio.' Once more the use of his name on her lips caused shivers to run down the Lieutenant's spine. 'I've had much worse than being in an explosion.' Horatio gritted his teeth in fury as he was once more reminded of what Natalia had endured and he once again found himself vowing to protect her.

* * *

As time went on, the CSIs began to notice more and more that there was something between Horatio and Natalia. They already knew Horatio was developing a soft spot for Natalia. Their boss had not only started to partner up with her on cases but they had noticed that Natalia was one of the few people they had ever seen who had made Horatio laugh, and it was even as though the two shared a deep jokey relationship. Even Alexx had commented on it when she saw the pair talking to each other as they headed to interrogate a suspect. It was as though they complemented each other entirely; always anticipating the other's move whether it was in interrogation or chasing a suspect and the way the pair looked at each other had raised a good few eyebrows in the lab and was causing a wildfire of gossip to spread.

The new developments did not surprise Eric as he had long ago noticed that Horatio and Natalia acted completely different whilst around each other. He had seen through the facade and the disguises almost from the beginning and now recognised it for what it was- love. He himself had been in that position. Thinking about that, he rolled over in the bed to face Calleigh who smiled contentedly, still in a dozed state as her body reawakened from its slumber. Smirking, he began to slide his finger up and down her arm, an action he knew Calleigh found comforting.

'What you thinking about sweetie?' Calleigh murmured, her bright eyes locking on to his.

'H and Natalia. There's something going on.' Eric said frowning slightly.

'And that's a bad thing?' Calleigh's raised her eyebrows questioningly as she propped herself up on her elbow.

'No it's just...different you know. This is H we're talking about. I've never seen him so upbeat, so relaxed. I think he has feelings for Nat.'

'I think so too. I know she has feelings for him.' Calleigh sighed as she placed her hand upon her lover's chest.

'Really?' He asked, looking at her.

'Yes, I was teasing her in the locker room and I casually slipped in Horatio's name. You should have seen her face Eric, she properly blushed. Obviously she really likes him.'

Eric smiled, 'I think they would be good together. They have the same interests and besides Natalia seems to be a calming influence on Horatio's daredevil antics.' Calleigh nodded knowing that since Natalia had started partnering with him, Horatio had been more cautious, less likely to overstep the boundaries. 'They make a good team.'

'Yeah just like us.' Calleigh smiled back before leaning forward and kissing Eric on the mouth, he eagerly returning it.

* * *

'So let's ask her.' That was Natalia's response to the question posed concerning the psychic Elena. For the last few cases, her confidence had been steadily growing yet the team were still silenced by surprise at her suggestion.

Horatio turned around to face her, 'How do you mean?'

'Not as a cop, let's ask her as a client.' Natalia smiled confidently.

'Natalia you want to go undercover?' Eric couldn't help but voice the surprise that he was feeling. Although Natalia was now like a sister to him, there was still a part of her she kept closely guarded and he had often noticed that she seemed uncomfortable when interrogating suspects-a trait he suspected she had developed as a coping mechanism, and despite her growth in confidence, to actually ask to go undercover was not like her at all.

Natalia shrugged in response. 'I'm just saying she hasn't met me yet.'

'I think that's a good idea.' Horatio spoke after a moment's silence, fidgeting with his shades as he thought about it. He then pointed to her, admiration present in his voice, 'Nice going.'

Natalia blushed in response.

* * *

The hummer had barely stopped moving before Horatio jumped out of it, striding purposefully towards Ryan with an expression of unconcealed worry. 'How long has she been in there?'

'Twenty minutes.'

Horatio was about to speak again when he heard a strange clicking noise coming from the transmitter.

'What is that?' They listened as they heard the noise again.

Ryan looked at the listener. 'She's got it against some rustling noise?'

'She can the mike?' Horatio asked sharply; coming to the worst conclusion.

Ryan spoke into the microphone, 'Natalia, hey, give us some sort of sign you're ok, cough or do anything.'

Horatio listened in franticly but there was just silence. 'I don't like this. Get her out of there.' He commanded and ran towards the building, gun drawn. Ryan led the way inside the house as they searched for Natalia, combing through every room only to find the house completely deserted.

Ryan, like Horatio, fearing the worse, marched over to the window and peered out 'Natalia's cover car is gone-it's gone!' He shouted, beginning to also voice the panic which was seeping through him. Both men walked over to a table where the voice recorder sat playing the meditating mantra of Elena's voice.

'She put the chanting on the loop, I even heard her switch it over. We have ten minutes to catch up to them.'

Horatio was silent for a moment and then his eyes widened as an idea came to him, 'GPS.'

Worry and determination plagued Horatio as they raced to the warehouse that Natalia's GPS showed her to be in. Once more he had known something was wrong, and although he would never admit it, he was scared. Scared for Natalia; scared that he would lose her. He had always had a close bond with his employees- it was something he deemed very important in their line of work as it ensured they not only worked together effectively but that they had each other's trust.

But with Natalia it was different. It was as though she had ripped apart all of the carefully constructed barriers in place around him; stopping anybody from getting too close. Somehow, this incredible, intelligent and beautiful woman had wormed her way into his heart and he knew that he had to save her, whatever the costs. Finally they arrived at the warehouse and Horatio followed an equally determined Ryan as they rushed in, eyes darting about wildly as they looked for any sign of Natalia. The sound of someone crying grabbed his attention and Horatio ran towards the sound, stopping in shock at the sight of a hysterical Natalia pointing her gun at an empty corner of the warehouse.

'NATALIA!' Horatio roared but Natalia did not react as she was lost in her own nightmare.

'No...no...no...no...no! Don't you come closer...don't you come...do not come closer to me! Do you hear me?'

'Natalia?' Horatio called, gentler this time, not wishing to spook her when she held a gun in her hands. His heart lurched at the obvious terror the woman was experiencing. He knew exactly what she was hallucinating- she was trying to fend off her husband's attacks and that thought sickened Horatio beyond reason.

'You're not going to hurt me again! NO!' Natalia's shouts broke down into sobs and Horatio wanted nothing more than to envelop her in his arms but it was too dangerous as she was still waving her gun around.

'Natalia?' He tried again, along with Ryan who had appeared and she turned around to face Ryan her gun pointed at him.

'Stop! Do you hear me? You're not going to hurt me! Stay away from me! Get away from me!'

'Natalia!' Horatio yelled out and she turned frantically pointing the gun at him.

'Stay away from me!' She shouted obviously terrified.

'Listen to me!' Horatio tried to reason.

'Get away from me! You hear me?'

'Natalia!' Horatio again shouted and had to quickly throw himself to the side to dodge the bullets which Natalia had fired his way.

This time it was Ryan who shouted at Natalia whose eyes resembled that of a rabbit caught in headlights. 'NO!' She screamed turning to fire at Horatio who acted as a decoy as Ryan ran and tackled her to the ground.

Horatio could feel the pain penetrating his chest as he listened to Natalia's screams and watched her struggles. 'NATALIA!' He yelled at her, cupping her face so that he could soothe her.

'Natalia!' Ryan also shouted trying desperately to get through to the writing woman underneath him. Natalia continued her struggles but both men held her firmly.

'No! No! No!' Natalia cried out, trying to lash out at the two men.

'Natalia, it's us! It's us!' Horatio shouted at her, his voice deep with emotion at the terror the woman he cared for so deeply was in.

'Please get off of me! No! Please don't hurt me again! Oh...no...You promised. Please don't touch me! Get off of me! GET OFF OF ME!' Natalia screamed, thrashing about on the ground. Horatio and Ryan swapped horrified looks as they realised what it was that Natalia was now hallucinating. Horatio knew that for Natalia's mental state-as well to an extent his own- he had to wake her from her fit.

'Natalia. It's me. It's Horatio. Wake up Natalia. Listen to my voice. Come on sweetheart.' The term of endearment slipped out before he could stop himself, but luckily Ryan was too concerned about Natalia to notice. She stopped thrashing about as Horatio's voice penetrated her fit and slowly she stilled, all the while Horatio holding her gently in his arms. Finally Natalia felt the blackness claim her and she fell asleep in Horatio's arms.

* * *

As Calleigh sat next to Natalia's hospital bed, she noticed the brunette's eyes began to flicker. 'Sweetie?' She spoke softly so as not to alarm the woman. 'Can you open your eyes?' Finally after much struggle Natalia opened her eyes and immediately bolted upright in terror. Immediately Eric and Calleigh restrained her. 'It's ok you're in the hospital! It's ok', Calleigh soothed.

Natalia panted as she tried to calm down. 'What...what the hell...what happened?'

'You don't remember anything?' Ryan asked carefully.

'No I do...I um...I remember I went to...undercover to Elena's and then um...I came back to the lab. No I couldn't because my ex-husband was there.'

The others shifted uncomfotably.

'What happened?' Natalia demanded.

It was Ryan who answered her. 'Elena figured out you were a cop and that your earpiece was a wire.'

'Somehow she was able to drug you', Calleigh continued, 'We found traces of a hallucinogen in your system.'

Eric spoke softly, not wanting to panic a very fragile-looking Natalia. 'The hallucinogen makes you very suggestible. Basically she hypnotised you.'

'What did she...what did she have me do?' Natalia asked wide-eyed. Eric glanced uncomfortably to Ryan.

'She had you drive out to the Wheeler mill and um...Horatio and I found you.'

Calleigh smiled comfortingly, 'She knew we would be on to her and she was hoping we'd be so concerned on finding you that she'd get out of town.'

'This is exactly what happened to Jason.' Natalia said, sitting up quickly, looking to Eric. 'I apologize I didn't believe you. I just...I thought he was making it all up. There's no way this could actually happen to someone but it does.' She said quickly.

'Hey, it's ok. Take it easy.' Eric soothed trying to get her to lie down.

'You need to tell him right away, this is really scary!'

'It's ok; we're going to tell him right now.' Eric vowed knowing that Horatio would already be on it and that he was going to make Elena pay for hurting Natalia.

'Where's H?' Natalia asked, wishing that he was there with them, but knowing it was just wishful thinking.

It was Ryan that answered, 'H is on Elena's case. He'll get her, don't worry.'

'Ok.' Natalia nodded, lying back on the bed. She knew Horatio would get Elena; it was just what he did.

The others exchanged mischievous looks knowing the reason the brunette was interested in Horatio. It had not escaped their notice that Natalia was in love with their leader. They had noticed it for some time that Natalia seemed more relaxed and happier around their leader and when Horatio was around her it was as though he was a different person. He was far less brooding. They made a great couple and all that remained was for the Lieutenant to admit his feelings-a task that they sadly knew, would be a difficult feat indeed.

* * *

Horatio sat down in his office chair with a heavy groan. It had been a long day. He had already sent the rest of the CSIs home, knowing that they needed their rest but he had decided to stay for a while, knowing the solitude of the night would allow him to think clearly. Realisation had finally hit Horatio when he had sworn Ryan to secrecy over the incident with Natalia. He had been running from the truth for so long but with the recent dangers to Natalia's life-the meth lab explosion and her being drugged-his eyes had finally been opened.

Every thought, every feeling had something to do with Natalia. It was as though she had taken him over. The mere thought of being in the same room as her caused him to become a shaking wreck. And his heart soared every time she said his name or she smiled. It was like she had placed an enchantment upon him, resulting in him being reduced to a child-like state. It was a foreign experience for him but as much as he wanted to deny it he knew he could no longer. He had fallen in love with Natalia.


	7. One Night Only

**Warning: this chapter contains mature content.**

* * *

The bar was dimly-lit and cosy. Its atmosphere was one of tradition, where the patrons came to reminisce of the past- a far cry from the hundreds of modern, vibrant bars with ear-shattering thumping music in Miami. It was traditionally decorated, with pictures of old Miami decorating the walls and jazz music playing from an old jukebox in the corner. It was two in the morning and the bar was deserted except for a lonely-looking woman who sat hunched over at the bar, obviously a little worse for wear. Horatio would never expect any of his team to frequent the bar as he knew they preferred the modern establishments downtown but yet it was here that he found Natalia.

As he neared the woman he was approached by the bartender; a kind looking middle-aged man with a balding head and the undercurrents of a Boston accent. 'I'm sorry to have called you. Thanks for coming at this hour. It's just you were the first name on her speed dial so I thought she might be comfortable with you picking her up.'

'That's ok. Thanks for calling. How long as she been here?' Horatio asked glancing towards the woman sitting at the now deserted bar.

'A few hours. I cut her off when I realised she'd had too much and at closing time I knew I couldn't just send her on her way in such a state.'

'Well thank you for keeping an eye on her.' Horatio nodded to the bartender, his eyes remaining transfixed on the hunched over woman.

'It's my pleasure Lieutenant. Just wanted to make sure she got home safely.' The bartender smiled kindly.

'I'll make sure of it.' Horatio nodded again before he made his way over to the woman.

Natalia's head rested in her hands as she sat, slumped over the bar. Her hair and clothes were dishevelled and as he approached, the strong stench of alcohol hit Horatio and he wrinkled his nose in response. This was not the strong, beautiful Natalia he had come to known. Instead she looked utterly sad and alone. Horatio's heart tightened considerably in response to the utterly brokenness and almost devastation that the woman seemed to convey.

'Natalia?' Despite the softness of the words, Natalia spun around, obviously startled. Her tear-filled bloodshot eyes widened as she saw that it was Horatio who stood there.

'Horatio...what...are you...doing here?' She slurred, surprise registering in her eyes.

'I'm here to take you home.' He again spoke softly, trying not to upset or to antagonise the obviously unstable CSI.

'I don't want to go home.' Natalia said gesturing wildly. 'I want another drink.'

'No Natalia, you need to go home.' Horatio said firmly, taking her by the arm and leading her out of the bar, the bartender shooting grateful glances as he did.

'Let go of me!' Natalia spat out once Horatio took her to the hummer, pushing him away from her.

'Natalia I need to get you home.' Horatio said firmly, gently placing his hand on her arm to help her from her seat.

Even in her drunken condition, the contact of Horatio's hand on her bare skin felt like sparks burning into her body and she quickly pulled her arm away, not noticing the hurt expression which flitted briefly across Horatio's face.

'No I don't want to go home!' She stuttered brokenly, 'I just want to forget everything!' Tears began to snake down her face and in that moment Natalia had never felt so alone and so lost. 'Why are you here Horatio?' Although her voice was quiet, Horatio could hear the deep pain that filled it and it caused his heart to lurch excruciatingly. He wanted no more than anything else in the world to take Natalia into his arms and spirit her away to somewhere she could be happy.

Choosing to ignore the question he knew he could not answer due to the fact Natalia would never believe the truth- that he would do absolutely anything for her, including picking her up drunk from a bar in the early hours, he again spoke softly, 'Come, let's get you home.' This time, Natalia relented and followed Horatio to the hummer.

* * *

Their journey was silent. Horatio kept glancing at Natalia who leant her head against the window, breathing deeply as she tried to regain some sense from the alcohol-induced cloud she was experiencing. Aware of Horatio's furtive glances, Natalia kept her eyes fixed straight ahead, not wanting to embarrass herself further than what she had done already. She was aware of his disapproval and it stung her incredibly. Finally Horatio slowed the hummer down, and glancing at her surroundings, Natalia realised that they had reached her home. But before she could gather her wits about her, Horatio had appeared at her door and opened it, offering her assistance.

'I can manage, I'm fine.' She protested but stumbled and was immediately caught by his strong arms.

'Let me help you.' Although he spoke quietly even in her state Natalia could hear the edge to his voice.

With his help, she managed to walk to the front door and after much searching; she found her keys and unlocked the door. After he had placed her on the sofa, Horatio walked through to her kitchen and from her position, she could hear the sounds of the kettle and the clanking of cups. Even through the fog in her mind she couldn't help but think that it was strange that someone as dangerous and adventurous as Horatio Caine could be so domesticated in the kitchen. She broke from her thoughts as she felt a steaming mug of coffee forced into her hands.

'Drink this.'

Natalia obliged, taking deep gulps of the warm liquid which was already reducing her hung-over feeling.

'Thank you Lieutenant I'm fine now...really I am.' She couldn't help but blush with embarrassment at him seeing her in such a state, and wanted him urgently to leave.

But Horatio ignored her hints and sat down next to her on the sofa. 'Why are you doing this?'

'Doing what?' Natalia innocently slurred, just a little annoyed at her boss's presence.

'This isn't the first time is it?'

She found that she could not meet his eyes, not with the disapproval he was showing her.

'What does it matter to you? It has nothing to do with the lab.' She snarled angrily, the close proximity of him causing her defences to go up. From her spot she could see every line, every mark that lined his handsome face, and it was causing thoughts and emotions in her that she did her best to ignore.

'I'm not here about the lab, I'm worried about you.' He paused and then he spoke again, this time his voice was incredibly soft, 'This is to do with what your ex-husband inflicted upon you.'

For a moment she felt her temper flare but then, much to her mortification, she broke down into tears. 'I'm terrified of him. It's like Nick is always haunting me. Today, when I was hallucinating I saw him; I felt him. I can't escape from him H...I never could! He always finds me.'

By this time she was sobbing freely and Horatio felt his heart break at how terrified and vulnerable she looked in that moment.

'I'm sorry Horatio.' She sniffled, wiping away some of her tears, 'I'm weak. Nick used to always say that...I guess he was right.'

He again felt his heart break at her words. It was painful to hear and to see how broken the beautiful CSI was because of her cruel ex-husband.

'Natalia', he cupped her face, 'you are the strongest person I know.'

She fiercely shook her head. 'How can I be strong when I stayed with him for eight years and now that I'm free of him he still determines everything I do? I tried so hard to survive, to start fresh. The only reason I agreed to spy on the lab was because it was my dream to work there. Nick said I wasn't good enough and I wanted to prove him wrong but instead...instead I managed to mess it all up.' She confessed and Horatio could not help but feel the sharp pains to his chest at the heartbroken expression of the woman next to him.

'I just want to be happy.' She whispered.

Horatio pulled her to him, resting her head on his neck; wanting more than anything else in the world to end Natalia's suffering. He struggled with himself for a minute before finally confessing, 'My father was abusive.'

Natalia looked up at him, obviously shocked.

'He used to beat my brother and me, but my mother was his favourite target.' He spoke coldly. 'One night...one night he stabbed her.'

Natalia watched as his eyes filled with emotion before he hung his head as he relived the pain of his childhood.

'What happened to him?' She asked, finally sobering up.

'I killed him.' He said softly and glanced back up at her. 'It was a long time ago.'

'That doesn't make it easier.' Natalia whispered.

'No it doesn't.' Horatio admitted, smiling slightly at the way the woman next to him seemed to be able to heal him in a matter of seconds. From this angle, he could see in detail every inch of her face, and her soft, olive skin, right down to where it disappeared under her blouse. Horatio was so tempted to kiss every inch of her skin, to worship it in all its perfection.

Time seemed to stand still as they stared at each other, unable to tear themselves away from each other's mesmerising gaze. Slowly they leaned forward as if some force was controlling their every move, and then suddenly their lips connected. The kiss was tender, both wanting it to last forever as it seemed to ignite feelings within them that they had never felt before. Finally, needing air, they pulled away and as they did, Natalia noticed the profound guilt on Horatio's face.

'I'm sorry that was wrong. This is wrong, I'm your boss.' He started to pull away.

Ignoring this, she commanded him, 'Stay with me.'

And suddenly she kissed him. For a moment he was startled but then he hungrily returned it, running his hands through her hair, she doing the same through his. They continued their passionate kissing until their lungs were screaming for air and as they pulled back, Natalia could see Horatio wrestle with his conscience but before he could stop what they were doing, she was dragging him to her bedroom.

Within minutes both were undressed and Natalia could not help but think that Horatio was the most handsome and perfect man she knew as he gently lowered her onto the bed. Horatio trailed his lips down from her neck to the apex of her thighs, paying homage to her beauty with every touch, as Natalia squirmed underneath him, desperate to relieve the tension that was building up inside of her. Soon they were experiencing ultimate pleasure at each other's hands, crying out in ecstasy as they explored every inch of each other's body. Unable to contain himself any longer, Horatio entered her suddenly and although it hurt at first for Natalia as it had been a long time and Horatio was big, he was gentle and soon both were crying out in pleasure as their bodies pounded against each other as they neared their climax. It was as though they were made for each other and for one night only, they could forget about all the problems, all the pain in their lives and just be in one another's arms as lovers...as soul mates. Finally they went over the edge together and after calming down and getting back their breaths, they succumbed to blissful slumber.

* * *

The light sun's rays trickled through the curtains into Natalia's bedroom. Judging by the brightness, Horatio knew that it was still early. He smiled at the woman sleeping peacefully next to him. Their night together had been incredible. Never before had he felt such joy, such love for a woman as he did with Natalia; she was like ecstasy to him. Yet, despite this, he still felt a measure of guilt at having no self control. It was so wrong; she was a subordinate after all and it could bring about the end of their careers. Why did paradise come at such a price?

He knew what he had to do, however much it hurt him. He had had his night with her and although it left him thirsting for more he knew that all he could have was that one night. Smiling softly, he leant over and kissed her on the forehead before getting out of bed. Once he was dressed, he gave one last glance at the still-sleeping CSI before slipping away, out of her bedroom and then out of her house, closing the front door gently, his heart heavy with regret and sorrow. And then he was gone. However, unknown to Horatio and Natalia, that night would have far-reaching consequences and would trigger an event which would change both their lives forever.


	8. Running Away

Ever since that night Horatio avoided Natalia. He stopped working with her on cases and instead partnered her with Eric, Ryan or Calleigh, and he purposefully went out of his way to avoid her in the lab. Although it was excruciatingly hard for him to keep away from her, he knew he had to. It was for the best- he had to ensure that no damage would ever be done to Natalia's career especially not now that she had come so far.

Despite all the trouble it had caused, he would never regret their night together-it had been pure paradise but that did not lessen the guilt he felt at the thought that he had taken advantage of a less than sober Natalia. Horatio had never felt so alive when she had been in his arms, calling out his name, her sweat intermingling with his as they moulded into each other's bodies. It had been so wrong and yet it had felt so right. It was like she was made for him; but he knew that could never be and so he continued his quest to distance himself from her in the hope that she would forget about him.

To Natalia, it was obvious that Horatio was avoiding her. Every time she came even a short distance from her, he would find some sort of excuse and flee almost instantly. Although she enjoyed working with Eric, Calleigh and Ryan; it was just not the same as working with Horatio. She utterly, utterly missed him. She missed his scent, his husky voice and most of all she missed his piercing eyes; eyes which could see through her until she felt that there was nothing left for her to hide. She absolutely hated the separation, but she understood- after all it was all her fault. She knew that and the guilt ate at her.

It was obvious he regretted sleeping with her; she could see it in the way he avoided eye contact and the way he almost flinched away from her when she came near him. She tried not to show her hurt at what was happening, but deep down Natalia was heartbroken. She was irrevocably in love with Horatio but he did not love her in return; in fact she was sure she disgusted him, and the thought that she may have put him in a difficult position as her boss, caused guilt to feed off of her like a predator to the carcass of its prey.

It was not just Natalia who knew that Horatio was avoiding her. The CSIs had also noticed that something was amiss between the previously close pair and although yet unspoken, it had ignited a deep curiosity and concern for their friends. Even the labrats had noticed the Lieutenant's unusual behaviour with regards to Natalia and it was causing a wildfire of gossip-particularly from Valera- which ranged from the hysterical to the absurd about the possible reasons for such behaviour.

Every time they were partnered up with her, Ryan and Eric noticed the sadness in Natalia's eyes and did everything they could to make her laugh, and she was grateful as her moments with them made the aching feeling lessen just slightly. Calleigh had started going to lunch with her and the two women were quickly becoming best friends. Yet despite this Calleigh still could not unearth what had happened between the Hispanic and the red-head. Even Alexx had noticed the tension and taken Natalia under her wing, whilst ensuring her displeasure at his behaviour was clear to Horatio. None of the team had to say anything for each to know what the other was thinking; that something very big had happened between the pair for it to cause such uncharacteristic behaviour from Horatio.

But yet despite the confusion and heart ache, Natalia soldiered on, even though her chest almost always felt as though it was being crushed to pieces. The pain never left. She could be reduced to blubbering tears in less than a second if she caught sight of Horatio or if someone said something, or she smelled something that reminded her of him. It was agonizing and she desperately wanted it to stop. Her friends noticed her pain but they knew there was nothing they could do short of confronting Horatio, something which even Calleigh and Eric were unwilling to do due to the volatile moods the Lieutenant was increasingly in. Tripp had in fact tried it and was rewarded by the infamous Caine glare and a frosty warning to 'Leave it'. So instead they resolved to be as kind and friendly to Natalia as they could whilst she was under attack from the ogre Horatio had become.

To deal with the pain she settled into an almost masochistic routine. She woke up, cried, got washed and dressed, had breakfast, went to work, came home late, ate and cried herself to sleep. And so this routine continued day by day, week by week. As time went on, Natalia found herself feeling increasingly exhausted-more so than usual- but she put it down to the emotional strain she was under. Even as deep circles underlined her eyes, she still continued her gruelling work. The others noticed Natalia's exhaustion but said nothing, knowing how stubborn she was. But still they were worried.

Horatio too had noticed her exhaustion and it made him feel incredibly guilty. He wanted nothing more than to run to her, and take her in his arms but he knew he couldn't-it was too dangerous for her. It was wrong for him to have taken advantage of her. He knew that and yet still he lusted for her. He was also aware of the anger towards him from the others and he knew he deserved it. But it was for Natalia's own good. Everyone he had ever been close to had been hurt; and this caused him to put up barriers over the years to prevent people getting too close but Natalia Boa Vista had shattered them to pieces, and it was for that reason he had to protect her even if it broke him.

* * *

Natalia walked into autopsy at mid morning, hoping to get results from Alexx about their John Doe they had found naked in a car park off the red light district. As she entered autopsy she was immediately hit by the stench of decomposition and of chemicals which made her stomach churn and she had to bite down on the rising bile in her throat. Alexx looked up as she entered, 'Hey Natalia...' But her voice trailed off as she noticed the woman's face become flushed and gain a greenish tinge.

'Honey are you ok?'

Not trusting her voice, she nodded.

'Are you sure? You don't look it.' Alexx asked concerned.

'Yeah...I just...it's the smell. What have you found?'

Alexx looked at her for a moment before turning back to the body. 'Well John Doe here has a large head wound to the left temple. I'd say it was caused by a heavy, blunt object and judging by the wound pattern I would say something like a brick. I found some trace in the wound and sent it upstairs.'

As Alexx spoke, Natalia found she could not concentrate as she was too busy trying desperately to control the nausea which was creeping up her throat. The churning of her stomach made her feel dizzy and she knew she was losing control. Suddenly she clamped her hand to her mouth and sprinted over to the sink, heaving up the contents of her stomach for the second time that day. As she continued to expel into the sink, Alexx ran over and wet paper towels which Natalia used to clean herself up. After binning the towels, she turned to Alexx, smiling gratefully at the M.E.

'Honey you're not alright.' Alexx said sternly, crossing her arms. 'How long have you been sick for?'

'A week or so. It's nothing, really', she pleaded.

'That didn't look like nothing.' The M.E. raised her eyebrows. 'You should see a doctor if it's been happening that long.'

'I'm fine, it's probably just a bug and the smell of the body must have made me sick. You know, Ryan did say he had a sickness bug last week, I probably just caught it off of him.'

Alexx stared at her for a moment stubbornly but then she nodded. 'All right. Just try not to lose your stomach contents on the evidence.' She joked and Natalia smiled back before leaving autopsy.

Alexx watched her leave carefully, not believing a word she had said. In the time she had known her, Alexx knew that it was not like Natalia to be sick for so long. Something was up. As she thought about it a sudden thought came into her head which startled her. 'No way...'

It was ridiculous but yet when she thought about it, it did seem plausible; the tiredness, the sickness. Alexx vowed to keep a close eye on Natalia, in order to see whether or not her theory was correct and if it was well... it would explain what had caused the tension between Natalia and Horatio. She sighed deeply, turning back to the John Doe. 'Well my dear, this is going to be interesting.'

* * *

It was now over a month since that night and still the heartbreak remained. As time had passed the sickness and exhaustion had steadily increased and Natalia had begun to suffer other symptoms such as dizziness and aches. However she did nothing to relieve these ailments as they had become swamped with cases and finding enough time to make an appointment with the doctor was proving to be impossible.

Calleigh and Eric, in particular, were monitoring Natalia's condition. They were suspicious and deeply worried as they knew this was not like her and both found themselves feeling angry towards Horatio for causing such distress to Natalia. Alexx, as much as she wanted to share her suspicions or confront Natalia, never had the chance to as she too was swamped with work and no longer saw Natalia who avoided coming down to autopsy due to the smell.

She knew she could not continue. With each passing day Natalia felt weaker and sicker, and she began to lose the spark she always had about her. Horatio noticed this and it made him despair. He knew she was hurting- so was he- but he also knew she was a survivor and that she would get through this and find someone else. She was too good for him and as much as he loved her, he had to let her go.

* * *

Natalia sat slumped against the bath tub, sobbing deeply, as she thought about her visit to the doctor's. Finally, almost two months after that fateful night, Natalia had decided to seek answers about what was affecting her so and she had been given the shocking and life-changing diagnosis.

A part of her was devastated but yet another part was happy as finally something good was happening in her life. But the devastation was the most prominent emotion as she thought about the mess her life had become.

Looking down at the ultrasound scan in front of her she knew she had to leave. She could not ruin Horatio's life. It was unfair to him; to everything he had worked for. It was obvious he hated her; that he regretted their night together and she knew he would resent her for the rest of their lives if she stayed. He was an honourable man and would want to do the right thing by her even if he hated that. That was why she had to leave. She would not; she could not ruin his life.

As tears snaked down her cheeks, she thumbed the scan of the baby; her baby who had been inside her for almost ten weeks. Already she felt a little love for the child but the fear was overwhelming. She knew nothing about being a mother. Yet, despite her fears; despite her reservations; despite her consuming panic, she wanted to keep it. It was Horatio's child, and as much as her child's father hated her, she loved him and it was for that reason that she wanted the baby. _His baby. _She knew what she had to do; it was her only choice-a necessary choice for all concerned. She had to leave Miami.


	9. Lost

Natalia's resignation had utterly stunned the lab. Although only months ago she had been the pariah of the lab, her colleagues had grown to love her as her humour, looks and contagious smile as well as her excellent investigative skills made her a favoured presence in the lab next to the likes of Eric, Horatio, Calleigh and Ryan. It was no understatement to say that her resignation had come completely out of the blue. The CSIs had been waiting in the break room for the distribution of their tasks when Horatio had walked in half an hour late, his face pale white and wearing an expression of extreme shock as he stutteringly announced that Natalia had resigned. Nobody had wanted to believe it at first but as time went on it became increasingly clear that she was not returning.

Nobody knew her reasons for resigning. All they knew was that one day she was there and the next she was gone. It had been so sudden. Of course there were suspicions especially amongst Ryan, Calleigh and Eric that she left because of Horatio's behaviour but they did not dare voice them. The labrats were speculating that she had been offered a top job at some other lab. Only Alexx seemed not to be speculating as a result of her suspicions which she dared tell no one in case it only made matters worse for Natalia.

Although her reasons for leaving were not certain, one thing was- that the CSIs had not only lost a brilliant colleague but a dear friend too. Calleigh missed having another woman to confide in especially due to the domination of men in the law enforcement career field. It had been a welcome and pleasant change to have a woman who understood the dedication that was needed in law enforcement and indeed to have a friend who understood why she was unable to come to weddings or for nights out. It was something which had lost Calleigh a lot of friends but having Natalia had changed that completely.

Eric too missed Natalia. She had become like another sister to him and he had enjoyed the banter they shared between them. To lose her now, when they had become so close was a devastating blow. Although not as heartbreaking as Speedle's death had been, the suddenness of her resignation had completely and utterly shocked him and he was left with the desperate need to know the reasons why.

Ryan had been unable to think clearly since the shocking news had emerged. Since the explosion at the crime scene, he and Natalia had become even closer partners and she was the first person he came to if he needed advice in both his work and in his personal life. Like Eric he was desperate to know where she was and if she was safe and he had begun his own discreet enquires to discover just where Natalia had fled to.

For Horatio, devastation was the overriding emotion. Since Natalia's disappearance, he had become even fiercer with suspects and had even started lashing out on his CSIs, causing one technician to be reduced to tears-the only reason she had not complained was because of Calleigh's soft diplomacy. Calleigh and Eric were furious at Horatio. As loyal as they were to him, a part of them blamed him for Natalia leaving, whilst another part was as equally furious at Natalia. Both were not entirely blameless. After all it was her leaving which had caused Horatio to spiral out of control.

The CSIs were visibly upset and angry at both Natalia for leaving and Horatio for letting her. But the truth was that she had gone over his head and resigned to his superiors, and they had accepted. Horatio knew nothing about her plans until he received the notification on his desk, and the shock it had caused him had been immense. He could not believe that she was gone. Despite him ignoring her, knowing that she was in the lab had been his solace. And knowing that she was now gone plunged him into deep depression.

It was like every good thing in his life had been ripped from him. He could barely function. Every waking minute was filled with thoughts of Natalia and even in what little sleep he could manage, she invaded his dreams. It was as if she had become his life and although they had only spent one night together, he knew he could no longer survive without her. The only way he could distract himself from the clenching, never-ending pain was by throwing himself into cases; pushing harder, taking more risks- all in the hope of that one bullet from a suspect that would end his misery.

Following their discovery that Natalia was renting out her condo, Eric and Ryan increased their investigations into her whereabouts. Although they had some reported sightings from their fellow CSIs across the country, all had turned out to be dead ends. CSI Willows from the Vegas lab, on hearing about their discreet enquiries, had promised to inform them if she came across any information on their lost CSI's whereabouts. No matter how hard they looked, three months had passed and Natalia Boa Vista was nowhere to be found.

* * *

Calleigh sighed deeply as she leafed through a file on her desk. She had been finding it hard to concentrate as her mind kept thinking about her friend and with all her new responsibilities due to Horatio increasingly erratic behaviour; it was becoming more and more difficult for her to cope. It was as though someone had plucked the Lieutenant's heart out. He was short-tempered from lack of sleep, had barely spoken to his CSIs in weeks and was much more reckless whilst pursuing suspects. Calleigh suspected he had a death wish and there was no doubt in her mind, or anyone else's that Horatio Caine was heartbroken from Natalia's resignation.

She glanced up as her office door opened. 'Hey sweetie.' She smiled warmly as her boyfriend walked in but her smile slipped as she saw the irate expression he wore.

'What's wrong?'

'Horatio that's what's wrong!' Eric exploded. 'He completely lost it with a suspect-it took me and Frank to restrain him! It's getting ridiculous! He's is going to end up in serious trouble from IAB if this continues.'

'What about the suspect? Is he pressing charges?' Calleigh asked, wide-eyed.

'Thankfully not! Ryan managed to calm him down.' Eric fumed the anger still present in his voice but when he spoke again, it was quieter, sounding almost broken. 'It's been three months Call. We can't continue like this. I overheard some of the technicians saying that if this continues they're going to quit. We're already understaffed and H isn't exactly around to help...We need to find her.'

Calleigh got up from her chair and walked over to the Cuban, kissing him on the lips before resting her head on his muscled chest. 'I know.' She inhaled his scent; a mixture of washing powder and cologne. 'Have we heard anything back from other CSI labs?'

'No but Sheldon Hawkes from New York said he'd give me a call when he had a moment.'

'Hmm...' Calleigh breathed and the pair stayed like that for a while, just languishing in the comfort each brought to the other. They only pulled apart when Eric's phone began to vibrate with an incoming call. On seeing it was a New York number, he quickly answered it.

'Delko...Hey...Really? And you're sure it's her?...Ok. Yep I understand. I'll be there as soon as I can. Thanks yeah I owe you one!' He hung up and looked to Calleigh.

'That was Dr Hawkes. He says Natalia is working in the New York lab under Detective Taylor who has given us permission to visit.'

'That's really good news! I'm coming with you.'

Eric shook his head, 'No Call that's not a good idea. We're already understaffed.'

'That's not a problem; the night shift said they'd cover for us if we needed to leave. Face it Eric I'm coming with you.'

Eric grinned at the sneakiness of his girlfriend, 'Oh how I do love you Call.'

'Oh I know Handsome.' She teased but then her face became sincere again, 'Now we just have to tell Horatio.'

* * *

Facing Horatio was not easy. To begin with the Lieutenant was greatly opposed to the pair leaving for a couple's vacation, citing the argument that they would be understaffed. Eric managed to bite back his response that if Horatio stopped acting like an adolescent then they would not be so short. It was only after Calleigh's gentle negotiation that he granted permission for their leave. So with their bags packed and the night shift covering for them, they headed to the airport for their flight to JFK, completely focused on their mission: to find Natalia.

* * *

**Hope you all liked. Reviews mean love. **


	10. Found

**First of all I would like to apologize for how long it has taken to update- life has been incredibly hectic for the last month and will remain so for the foreseeable future. Secondly, a massive thank you for the continued support and I hope it continues.**

* * *

The flight from Miami, although comfortable, had seemed to last for an eternity as both CSIs were desperate to reach the crime lab and find Natalia. On arriving at the airport, they had managed to hail a cab which took them into the heart of the seemingly never-ending, vibrant and bustling city. Even though thoughts of Natalia were front-most in their minds, they enjoyed the sights and sounds of New York; so different from the unwavering heat and sun of Miami. Finally, they reached the lab and after informing reception that they had arrived, Dr. Hawkes escorted them to Mac Taylor's office.

'Detective Taylor.' Calleigh greeted warmly, shaking the former marine's hands as they entered his office.

'CSI Duquesne, CSI Delko. It's a pleasure to finally meet you. I've heard great things about your work.'

'Likewise Detective.' Eric smiled, also shaking Mac's hands.

Mac gestured for them to sit and the pair did so gladly.

'Hawkes informed me that you're here to see Officer Boa Vista.'

Calleigh nodded, 'Yes, we'd like to speak to her as friends and colleagues- ever since she left three months ago we have been somewhat short-staffed and it is beginning to take its toll on the lab. We could really use her back, if you don't mind of course but it's up to Natalia. We just want to talk to her about coming back.'

'I don't see why that would be a problem.' Mac smiled slightly. 'You're very lucky to have her; in the three months she's been here she's been a valuable resource and a great worker. We've been very grateful for her input. I have to say though that when she came to me asking for a job I was a little surprised.' Mac raised his eyebrows, obviously knowing a little about the situation that had forced Natalia to leave.

That did not surprise Calleigh or Eric as the crime labs worked closely together on cases and shared knowledge vital to the apprehension of criminals and as a result CSIs often stayed in contact. Gossip and scandal as big as Natalia's disappearance was bound to be passed on.

'Yeah so were we. But there was an incident back at Miami which may have persuaded her to leave.'

Mac nodded understandingly. 'You have to understand, Natalia doesn't know you're here. When she joined the lab, she was very insistent that nobody from Miami know where she was.'

'We only want to talk to her.' Calleigh said reassuringly.

Again, Mac nodded, 'She's dusting for prints down at one of our crime scenes. She should be on her own with one of the uniforms. I'll drive you myself.' He said, getting up from his chair, the others following suit.

'I think it would be better if just Eric actually goes in to the house as we don't want to cause too much of a scene. If it's ok I'd like to stay here and see some of the new technology I've been hearing so much about.' Calleigh spoke enthusiastically at the thought of seeing the new equipment she had so long been after for her own lab, whilst glancing at Eric to check if he agreed with her suggestion. He nodded in return, preferring to be alone when he confronted Natalia.

'Of course, I'll have Detective Messer stay with you Calleigh. I think it would be better for only one of you to see Natalia anyway.' The hesitant manner in which Mac spoke did not go unnoticed by the two CSIs, who began to develop a gut feeling that something was being hidden from them.

* * *

Having negotiated the congested city traffic, Mac dropped Eric off outside an apartment building in Manhattan. After showing his ID to the uniformed officer, he was admitted into the building and following the directions the officer had given him, he entered a bare and decrepit apartment. It was obvious that a brutal murder had occurred due to the blood which stained the wooden floorboards. Hearing a noise in the corner of the room, Eric looked over to see Natalia in the middle of dusting the wall for prints.

Eric watched her silently for a moment from behind, a mixture of emotions filling him at the sight of Natalia working away as though there was nothing wrong in the world.

Too engrossed in her job, Natalia failed to notice he was there and Eric coughed slightly to get her attention.

He quietly called out, 'Natalia?'

* * *

Natalia clenched her jaw in response to the pounding in her head as the all too familiar nausea seemed to swirl up from nowhere. She knew it was her own fault; she had been working non-stop for over twenty-four hours with little-if any-rest and it was taking its toll on her five months pregnant body.

At that thought she instantly looked down to her stomach where just visible under her loose-fitting blouse was the tell tale bump. She smiled at the thought of her baby. When she had arrived in New York three months before, there had barely been any indication of a bump and she had been able to hide her pregnancy for over a month until one day, she was required to visit the police doctor who had passed her file to Mac. After much negotiation they had agreed that she would continue field work until she felt she could no longer continue, or until he thought she could not continue and then she would transfer into the lab until she went on maternity leave.

Now five months pregnant, Natalia knew that soon it would be time to transfer to lab-based work. Luckily the morning sickness had now mostly gone but the other symptoms were beginning to flare up and she knew she could not continue with the working life she had. So far only Mac and Stella knew about her pregnancy as she had been unwilling to tell anybody else in case word somehow got back to Horatio. She was truly thankful for the smallness of her bump that kept her secret hidden.

Although she was thoroughly enjoying the experience of New York, she missed Miami. She missed her home, her colleagues and she especially missed Horatio. The heart ache she felt, although diminished slightly by the knowledge that it was his baby, his child, she carried within her, still caused her to cry herself to sleep every night.

She was broken out of her thoughts by a shooting pain-this time in her stomach- as she felt the baby kick and once more, she felt nausea rise up. But gritting her teeth she continued dusting for fingerprints, knowing this could be the key in catching their killer. Engrossed in her work and in pain, she did not hear Eric enter the room.

Recognising his voice as it cut through the silence, she froze and slowly turned around to face him.

'Eric...'

They stood in silence for a moment, both staring intently at each other. Natalia could see that Eric was both relieved and angry. Finally she was able to form a coherent thought and stutter it out.

'What...what are you doing here?'

'I found out you were in New York and came to ask you why you left.' His voice was cold as he glared at her.

'That's none of your business.' Natalia snapped, a mixture of pain and shock causing her to react stronger than usual.

'It is when you just quit with no explanation and leave us shorthanded.' Eric replied angrily.

'I was not aware that what I do was any of your business!' Her eyes glinted furiously as she walked towards him, pointing at him. 'Senior management accepted my resignation-it's not my fault if they do not provide cover for a vacancy in the lab!'

'You left with no warning Natalia!' Eric snapped. 'Have you any idea what that did to the lab? What that did to us? What it did to Horatio?' He noticed her stiffen as he mentioned their boss. 'Why did you leave?'

'I already told you Delko that it's none of your business!' Natalia shouted at him, ignoring the stab of pain as the baby kicked or indeed the dizziness that had seemed to come out of nowhere.

'It is Natalia! Have you any idea what you've done to Horatio? He's a wreck! You've made Horatio Caine a wreck! Why did you do that to Horatio?' Eric yelled back, feeling his loyalty to the Lieutenant bubble up in the face of Natalia's stubborness.

Natalia, fury coarsing through her veins, walked over to Eric and slapped him sharply over his cheek, the force of the blow causing his neck to snap to the side and effectively silencing him.

When Natalia next spoke, her voice was low. 'He broke my heart Eric. It's not what I did to him; it's what he did to me.' She again pointed at Eric, who stood with an expression of absolute shock on his face.

'Natalia I...'

'No!' She shook her head furiously. 'I don't want to talk about it and I AM NOT coming back to Miami. Just go Eric.' She demanded, again gritting her teeth as the baby's constant kicking was painful and that, coupled with her pounding headache and exhaustion, was making her feel dizzy.

'Just go.' Her voice sounded so broken but Eric stood his ground. Huffing, Natalia knelt down to pick up her evidence kit but as she stood up everything started to spin. She staggered slightly and Eric noticed.

'Natalia?' His voice was filled with concern. 'What's wrong?'

'I'm fine.'

Eric noticed that her words were slurred.

As she stood up, everything went grey as dizziness overwhelmed her and before she knew it she was falling to the ground. The last thing she remembered before she lost consciousness was Eric catching her before she impacted the floor.


	11. The Life Within

At first Natalia could not understand the origin of the noise. It sounded mechanical and far-off. She tried to block it out but it incessantly continued, every minute grating more and more on her nerves. A part of her wanted it to go away and another part of her wanted to open her eyes and see just what it was.

The sound was getting closer now and Natalia let out a small moan as the brightness also increased.

It was so close now.

Slowly she tried to open her eyes but nothing happened. Again she tried and managed to force her lids open only a small way before they shut again. This time she managed further, her eyes registering she was in a hospital room before clamping shut at the brightness that burned. Gritting her teeth, she opened her eyes again. As her eyes adjusted to the light, she could see that she was lying on a hospital bed and that both Eric and Calleigh sat on chairs next to her.

She shifted slightly and felt something lightly resting on her body. Glancing down she could see that she was attached to a heart monitor and that her bump too was being monitored. Hearing the regular beeping, she sighed in relief; glad that her baby was unhurt.

She noticed two pairs of eyes staring at her and dazedly, she spoke to them. 'Wha-what happened?'

Eric's reply was cold, anger lacing his every word. 'You collapsed as your five month pregnant body couldn't handle the pressure you have been putting it under.'

Calleigh placed her hand on his shoulder, restraining him from saying anything else that would upset Natalia in her already fragile state.

Natalia could not help the tears that came to her eyes and she looked down, unable to bear the looks of disappointment that both the blonde and the Cuban gave her.

'You know.' She stated, her heart thudding wildly at her secret being exposed.

This time Eric's voice was softer, hurt evident in his eyes. 'Why didn't you tell us Natalia?'

'I...I couldn't.' She whispered.

'Why not? I thought we were your friends Nat.'

'You are my friends but I don't want anybody to know in case...in case the father finds out.' Natalia whispered the last part; almost afraid that somebody else was listening in on their conversation.

'We don't need to ask who the father is do we? It's Horatio.' Calleigh spoke softly, taking Natalia's hand comfortingly.

Tears began to snake down her cheeks as she nodded her head.

'Oh sweetie...is that why you left? Because you found out you were pregnant with H's child?' Calleigh questioned softly, desperate not to upset her friend anymore than she already was.

Natalia nodded again, wiping away her tears. 'I had to. It was for Horatio's own good.'

'What do you mean?' Eric asked softly.

'We slept together. It was only one night, I was drunk and Horatio...he obviously regrets it. That's why he was ignoring me, partnering me with you both and Ryan. He's obviously embarrassed about what happened and I don't want to ruin his career or his reputation! I can't tell him about the baby!' She cried desperately.

'Why not? Horatio would be here for you. He would support you every step of the way.' Calleigh explained.

'That's the point! Horatio is too honourable; he would be there even if he didn't want to be-even if it ruined his career. And even though he would be there, he would resent it and that's not fair on him. I don't want to hurt him.'

'You love him.' Eric stated softly.

Natalia started to sob as she nodded and Calleigh took her in her arms carefully, making sure not to touch the wires linked to the monitors.

'I want this baby so much...but I don't want to hurt Horatio. I can't come back to Miami. Please don't make me go back.'

Her pleading caused tears both in Eric and Calleigh; both moved by the depth of her feelings for their Lieutenant.

'Sweetie, Horatio loves you too.'

She looked at the blonde in shock before she started to shake her head violently. 'No! He doesn't, your just saying that. Why would someone like Horatio love me?'

Eric shook his head sadly, 'He loves you Natalia. He really loves you.'

'It's true', Calleigh cut in, 'Ever since you left he's been even moodier-he's been lashing out at both CSIs and at suspects. It's like he's lost the will to live. He loves you and he really misses you.'

Natalia was silent as the blonde's words sunk in. A part of her wanted to believe it, but the other part-the sensible part- knew that they were just saying that to get her to return.

The trio were interrupted by a knock on the door and a young female midwife poked her head in. 'Miss Boa Vista?'

'It's Officer Boa Vista.' Eric said protectively.

'Sorry...' She raised her eyebrows, 'Officer Boa Vista. I'm Midwife Susan Hayes. I was reading your file and noticed that you have yet to have your twenty weeks scan and I would like to do it now.'

Her tone was one of no-nonsense and Eric and Calleigh immediately got up. 'We'll wait outside.'

'No!' They turned on hearing Natalia's voice. 'I would like you to stay but only if you want...I mean.'

Calleigh beamed. 'I'd like to stay.'

Eric also nodded.

'Are you the father?' The nurse asked Eric who immediately blushed with embarrassment.

'No, the father he...he couldn't be here.' Natalia said quietly and the nurse stopped her questions as she noticed the wave of pain that flitted through the Hispanic's eyes.

Within five minutes, Natalia was lying watching her baby on the ultrasound screen. Calleigh and Eric held her hands and they too found themselves transfixed by the sight of the baby. They glanced at one another, wondering if perhaps one day they too would have the chance to watch their baby on the screen. From the screen they could see that the baby was sucking its thumb and Natalia-due to hormones-found herself with tears streaming down her face as she found herself filled with joy at the sight of her baby.

She looked to the nurse, 'Is everything ok with the baby?'

'Everything's perfect. Would you like to know the sex?'

Natalia hesitated for a moment. She did not mind what she had and a part of her wanted it to be a surprise, but the other part was desperate to know.

'Yes please.' She finally answered.

The room was silent with tension as they waited for the nurse to tell them. Natalia gripped tightly onto Eric and Calleigh's hands. The couple were completely caught up in this magical moment, especially as it was Natalia and Horatio's baby-the first CSI baby. Even though the circumstances were not ideal, they couldn't help but already love Natalia's baby and both knew that the baby would be utterly spoilt.

'It's a boy.' The midwife smiled, pointing at the screen to the obvious evidence.

'A boy?' Natalia gasped, awe in her voice and she couldn't help the tears of joy which flowed down her face.

It was a son. Horatio's son. She allowed herself to be lost in thoughts about her son. She wanted him to look like his father. If he did then he would be the most handsome boy. Wrapped so much in her thoughts she did not register that the nurse had left the room and that she was now holding a picture of the scan. Glancing down at it, she found herself lovingly stoking the scan, her heart feeling ready to burst from love and joy for the life that grew inside her.

The room was silent for many minutes as each person found themselves awestruck with the image of the tiny human that Natalia held. Finally Eric broke the silence; 'Come back to Miami Natalia.'

Quickly, the brunette shook her head fiercely. 'No...I can't. I told you I don't want to ruin Horatio's career and besides...I have a job here.'

Calleigh and Eric swapped looks and then Calleigh spoke, 'Sweetie, we don't have to tell Horatio if you don't want to. And as for a job, once the baby is born you can come back to the lab.'

Natalia smiled gratefully at the blonde's efforts. 'Call, do you really think I would be able to hide the fact I was back in Miami or pregnant from Miami's finest and from their finest Lieutenant? It's impossible.'

'Then what do you propose we do Nat?' Eric questioned. 'We want you back... we need you back and Miami...Miami is your home. Are you really saying you don't miss it?'

'Of course I miss it Eric. New York is amazing but Miami is my home but I can't go back there, not whilst I'm still pregnant.' She said desperately.

'Then why don't you wait until after you have the baby?' Calleigh suggested.

Both Eric and Natalia looked at her, unsure as to what she was suggesting.

'Natalia's right Eric, if she comes back pregnant Horatio will find out and although I don't agree with your views Nat', she glanced to the woman lying on the hospital bed; 'I respect them. I think you should stay in New York until junior here is born and then come back to Miami. That way, it bides you some time but let me emphasize that you are coming back.'

Natalia was silent as she pondered Calleigh's offer and then finally-albeit reluctantly- she nodded.

'That's settled then.' Calleigh beamed; always pleased to be victorious in disputes.

'Once junior is born and you are fit to travel, Miami bound you are.' Eric reiterated and Natalia again nodded, finding herself to already be worried about the implications of returning and whether or not Horatio would find out about their son. But before that she had other, more important issues to focus on. And none more so than the impending arrival of her son which she knew would change her life forever.

* * *

**Special thanks to all reviewers! Please feel free to leave me a review no matter your nationality or language.**


	12. Arrivals

'Flight M11064 from JFK has now arrived.'

The loudspeaker boomed across the bustling terminal of Miami International Airport. Thousands of tourists, families, businesspeople and explorers weaved about around the great expanse of linoleum, stone and steel, heading to or from the check-in desks and lounges as they waited to board the aircraft that would transport them to the far-flung corners of the world.

Others, back from their explorations rushed into the waiting arms of their loved ones who were overjoyed to be reunited with family. The atmosphere was one of great anticipation and mystery due to the fact so many people were converged in one area, waiting for either journey's end or beginning. It was a surreal world; a world full of excitement and emotion.

Amidst this mad world stood Natalia who tightly held onto the baby carrier which held the most precious cargo of all-her infant son Marcus Horatio Boa Vista Caine.

Seven weeks had passed since the birth of her son and still the aurora of it all had yet to sink in. Labour had been an excruciating experience- an experience which Natalia hoped not to have to repeat any time in the near future but finally, after many hours of breathtaking pain, little Marcus had entered the world just shortly before four in the afternoon and was instantly placed in the arms of his adoring mother.

Natalia had never felt such a wave of love and affection be as she gazed into his big bright eyes which, although they had yet to settle, were identical to his father's. His colouring and brown tuft of hair, however, was very much his mother's but Natalia knew-from the glimpses of her son's stubborn behaviour- that he was very much his father's son.

The first week of his life, once Natalia had been discharged from the hospital, had been hell with Marcus's tears, sleepless nights and the general feelings of being totally out of her depth. The knowledge that she was solely responsible for something so small and vulnerable and who relied on her totally was terrifying. Many times she had just wanted to collapse in tears but like the survivor she was, she carried on.

She could never express how grateful she was to Mac, Stella and the rest of the New York team, in particular Danny and Lindsay who had given her plenty of advice and baby items from Lucy which were no longer used. They had all been a great support and she hated that she had to leave, but she knew it was time to fulfil her promise to return home.

And now standing back on Miami soil, it felt like no time had passed since she had left despite the fact her life had irrevocably changed.

'Natalia!' Hearing her name she stiffened but on recognising the southern accent she smiled as finally the blonde and Eric came into view, manoeuvring around the crowd waiting for their loved ones to arrive.

'Hey Cal!' With one arm she embraced her friend and then she turned to the smiling Cuban who also hugged her.

'How was your journey?' Calleigh asked.

'Tiring but I'm good. Marcus slept right through.'

'And how is my handsome Godson?' Eric asked, peering down at the sleeping infant before taking Natalia's bags as they began to walk through the terminal.

It had been an obvious choice for her son's godparents. Eric and Calleigh had supported her throughout her pregnancy, keeping her secret from Horatio- a man they respected and trusted above all others- as well as concealing the truth from the other team members. The pair had even travelled all the way from Miami following the birth, once again lying to Horatio about their motives.

* * *

_Natalia turned to the door as she heard soft knocking. 'Come in.'_ _She called; thinking it was one of the midwifes._

_But her eyes widened in surprise as instead, Eric and Calleigh walked quietly in, both clutching carrier bags._

'_Hey! What are you guys doing here?' She straightened up in the bed, trying to look more presentable as after all, with the exception of the New York team who had visited earlier, she had not been expecting visitors._

'_We wanted to see you.' Calleigh smiled widely. 'How are you doing?'_

'_Tired...sore...but happy, very happy. It still hasn't sunk in.' Eric and Calleigh smiled in response to the sheer amazement and wonderment that was present in their friend's voice. Using the break in conversation, Natalia leaned over to the cot which sat next to her bed and carefully, she picked up the tiny infant which was swaddled in the bundle. Both Calleigh and Eric stared in wonder at the infant; awed by the most beautiful thing they had ever seen._

'_Guys, I would like you to meet Marcus. Marcus Horatio Boa Vista Caine.' Natalia beamed proudly at her son._

'_Oh he's beautiful.' Calleigh breathed but then she remembered the bags she and Eric held. 'Ooh and we brought you presents-one for mum, one for baby.'_

_Natalia was shocked at the generosity her friends showed. 'Guys you shouldn't have. It's very kind of you thank you.'_

'_We wanted to get you something.' Calleigh replied, like Eric unable to tear her eyes of the sleeping infant who looked the very picture of innocence and served to remind all three adults of the goodness in the world when usually they only saw the depravity and hatred of human nature._

_Noticing her friends' fascination with the child, Natalia offered Marcus to Calleigh. 'Would you like to hold him? He's just had his bottle so he should be fine.'_

_Calleigh shook her head nervously but before she could reject Natalia's offer, Marcus was in her arms. For a moment she felt nervous and uncomfortable, but she quickly relaxed as she found herself mesmerised by the baby._

'_Well aren't you handsome. Yes you are!' She cooed, stroking his cheek. 'You are just like your mummy and daddy.'_

_Natalia smiled at the blonde's words. She was glad her son was like Horatio, even if the man himself could not be part of his life. Knowing she would start to get sad thinking about him, she busied herself with opening the presents. For her there was a luxury bath set-intended for relaxation purposes after a long day, and for Marcus there was a small cuddly dog with a t-shirt saying 'Police dog' on it._

'_Oh it's beautiful! You two are really too good for me.' Natalia smiled._

'_Cal searched through a dozen shops for something special.' Eric smirked before looking down at Marcus who now lay in his arms, his tiny hand clutching Eric's finger tightly._

_Calleigh blushed at his words. 'I wanted the best for my best friend.'_

'_Well thank you and like I said, you two are so good to me and you've been a great support so that's why...that's why I'd like to make you Marcus's godparents', she spoke nervously, 'but only if you want to...I know it's something that H would want to...but like I said you don't have to.'_

_Calleigh and Eric stared at her in astonishment and then Eric answered on behalf of both of them. 'Of course we will. It would be an honour.' And no more was said as the three adults watched the baby boy, entranced with the beauty and innocence of the infant._

* * *

As much as they wanted to stay, Eric and Calleigh soon had to return to Miami but not without a precious collection of photos of them and their godson. It had been strange once they had left, to finally be alone with her son. But they had muddled through even through the most terrifying moments such as Marcus's first bath.

_Natalia held Marcus tightly as she lowered him into the baby bath given to her by Danny and Lindsay. She gently sponged his head and legs, all the while being careful to avoid the delicate belly button stump. _

'_Is that ok little one huh? Are you enjoying this?' Although he couldn't vocalise his pleasure, the fact he kicked his legs so fiercely showed his enjoyment. She couldn't help but think how alike he and his father were._

Natalia glanced down at her son who still slept, his little dog placed next to him as it had been since Eric and Calleigh had given it to him. A part of her was excited at being home and seeing for herself the beautiful nursery Eric had laboured on, proudly sending her pictures of a room with animal stencils on the wall, a lion lampshade and a cot with animals on the cover. It was perfect for her son. The other part of her however was utterly terrified: terrified of being back, of her upcoming meeting with the senior detectives and most of all terrified of seeing Horatio or him finding out about Marcus.

The sound of sneezing brought Natalia out of her thoughts and she glanced down to her son who sneezed again-scrunching his face up in an adorable expression, before returning to his slumber.

Finally Eric led the women out of the terminal and into the heat and sun of Miami. As they headed for the hummer, they passed a man waiting for a taxi. Although Natalia, who was too focussed on other things, did not notice him, he noticed her and recognised her. Instantly he took out his cell and dialled the number of a dear old friend.

'Hey Nick...it's Pete. Yeah I know it's been a while. Listen you'll never believe who I just saw at the airport in Miami...'

* * *

**As always your support is much appreciated. **


	13. The Encounter

A week had passed since her return to Miami and now a nervous Natalia found herself in the crime lab, heading for a discreet meeting with the senior detectives on the lower floor of the Miami-Dade precinct and forensics lab. Grasped tightly in her right hand was Marcus's carrier where the young boy slept soundly, unaware of his mother's anxiety and fear. Ideally she would not have brought Marcus, out of the fear that one of her former colleagues spotting her, but with no family other than Anya, and with both Eric and Calleigh on call, she had no other option.

Coming through the front doors of the building felt like coming home for Natalia as a wave of emotion hit her. Despite her love for New York, she had very much missed the lab and the urge to go into the actual lab was difficult to resist but with Marcus with her, she knew it was a dangerous idea, and so she avoided it completely.

Despite the fact the senior detectives had been warm and accommodating on the phone, Natalia was still apprehensive about the scheduled meeting, particularly in regards that there would be no repercussions on Horatio if by some miracle the detectives figured out the paternity of Marcus. All she wanted from this meeting was to get a job at the lab; it did not even have to be out in the field. As long as she was working in the lab, in the job she loved, she would be happy with the outcome. After signing in at reception, she was escorted to the meeting room, and looking at her son for reassurance, she entered the room where her fate was to be decided.

Because of her concentrating on keeping her son safe and a secret, Natalia had failed to notice the silver sedan which had been parked outside of her house, or outside the shops, or currently outside the lab, watching her every movement. The driver watched her with almost a sadistic smugness that despite her precautions, he had still been able to find her. He would teach her a good lesson-firstly for divorcing him and having him thrown into prison and secondly for having another man's child.

Nick smiled cruelly. He was going to make Natalia suffer by hurting her child. He owed a lot to his friend Pete for telling him where she was. For many nights he had been dreaming of his revenge and now finally he had his chance. 'I'm coming for you babes, just you wait.' He grinned menacingly. And he continued to watch, waiting patiently for the right moment to pounce.

* * *

Forty minutes was all it took for a unanimous and satisfactory agreement to be reached. Natalia would be reinstated as a part time CSI once her maternity leave was over. The lab bosses had pledged discretion over Marcus and were indeed very taken with the handsome boy. If there had been any inclination of the father's identity, then nothing was said much to Natalia's relief. After leaving the meeting, she went into the toilets, picking up and then setting down a now stirring Marcus on the changing table and carefully undressing him. The stench from the nappy made her eyes water and she quickly discarded it, before she wiped Marcus clean.

'Is that better darling?' She asked him, looking down into his bright eyes which stared back at hers, so trusting. 'Yes that's right.' She smiled as he kicked slightly.

Once he was wrapped back up in his new nappy and clothes and back in his carrier, Natalia went to the sink, cleaning her hands of the cream.

It was then that she heard approaching footsteps and with just enough time to check the carrier was concealed behind a pillar, the door opened and Natalia froze with fear as she recognised her voice. 'Natalia?'

'Alexx...' Natalia stated nervously, shifting slightly towards the pillar in order to further shield Marcus.

Alexx was lovely and meant well but she was unwaveringly loyal to Horatio and would instantly run to him: a situation she wanted to avoid at all costs.

It was obvious that the Medical Examiner was shocked by her presence but this was quickly replaced by fire on her face. Natalia couldn't help but gulp as she realised she was about to be interrogated.

'Well, Miss Boa Vista this is a surprise. I hope you have a good explanation for your absence for the last eight months!' She demanded angrily, staring at the Hispanic, desperate to discover whether or not her hunch about Natalia being pregnant was true, and if so, whether or not she had had the baby. Alexx was filled with questions and she needed them to be answered!

'Look Alexx, I don't really have time for this.' Natalia spoke nervously; her eyes darting to the hiding place of her son who she prayed would remain silent so that her secret would remain intact. She needed Alexx to leave or better yet a way to smuggle Marcus out from under her very nose. Alexx however was not letting her get anywhere and had made sure to block all possible escape routes.

'You are not leaving till I get answers!' The ME spoke fiercely; very much the mother bear protecting her cubs-in this case the CSIs whom had been devastated by Natalia's resignation. 'Have you any idea what your resignation did? You left us short staffed. Ryan missed you, he thinks of you as a sister, and Eric and Cal-how do you think they felt?'

True: Alexx knew that the senior CSIs were missing Natalia, it was obvious, but in the recent months, her intelligent and observant eyes had noticed that they were acting strange; disappearing for mysterious trips at the most awkward times being a prime example. But Alexx had also noticed the pair had seemed less worried about Natalia's whereabouts even in the face of Horatio's almost adolescent moody behaviour and the increasing risks he was taking. All these points-for so long a jumbled up mess of a jigsaw in her head were beginning to form a picture: a picture Alexx did not like the look of.

'Look it's nice to see you but I really must go.' Natalia tried to persuade the older woman to leave; worried that at anytime Marcus would stir. She prayed that this would not be the case. However her prayers went unanswered as she heard a little sneeze coming from behind the pillar. Natalia felt her heart stop in dread as Alexx's eyes narrowed.

'What was that?' Alexx strode towards the pillar.

'It's nothing really...Alexx please no!' Natalia begged, jumping in front of the other woman. But it was too late. Alexx's eyes widened with recognition and then shock as she stared down at the carrier.

Finally after an age of silence she spoke. 'So I was right, you were pregnant.'

Natalia stared at her in shock. 'How did you know?' Her voice sounded defeated; almost broken.

'Oh honey...I'm a doctor and a mother. I saw the signs...the fatigue, the sickness. Pregnancy was the only plausible answer.' She shot a sympathetic look to the younger woman before glancing back down to a now still Marcus. 'What's his name?'

'Marcus.'

'The name suits him. Now let me see this precious darling.' Alexx demanded and Natalia obliged, surrendering her son to the doctor's loving attentions.

'Well aren't you handsome?' She cooed but then her face turned serious as she turned to his mother. 'I want an explanation-where have you been?'

Knowing there would be no escape now from the interrogations, Natalia answered, 'New York.'

'On your own?' She raised her eyebrows at the unconvincing nod she received in response. 'Really, so nobody knows that you're back, not even Eric or Cal.'

At Natalia's guilty expression, Alexx sighed sternly. 'They know.'

'Yes. They found out I was in New York when I was five months pregnant. They are Marcus's godparents.'

Alexx was silent for a moment, bouncing an awake and content Marcus in her arms. Natalia bit her lip. Finally Alexx burst out, 'Honey does Horatio know?'

Instantly Natalia paled a deathly white and she stuttered, 'I...don't know...what you're t..t..talking about.'

Alexx fixed her a pointed look. 'It is obvious who this one's father is and by the way you were acting before you left...well it all pointed to one thing. So I ask again, does Horatio know?'

'No...He can't...You can't tell him!' Natalia cried desperately.

Alexx was stunned by her reaction. 'Why not? He has a right to know about this. Have you any idea, honey, what your resignation did to Horatio?' She asked fiercely. 'He hasn't been the same since.'

'No!' Natalia shouted firmly. Sensing his mother's distress, Marcus began to whimper and Natalia quickly relinquished him from Alexx, rocking him gently before placing him back into his carrier and strapping him in, all the while muttering to herself. 'I knew it was a mistake to come back.'

Quickly she headed to the door but was again blocked by a determined Alexx. 'Oh no you don't young lady.'

But before she could do anything else, Calleigh walked in. 'Natalia are you...oh no.' She breathed as she saw the situation and in seconds she was dragging her out of there with Alexx in close pursuit.

'Calleigh Duquesne please don't tell me you approve of this situation?!' She reprimanded.

'Alexx leave it please.' Calleigh begged, helping her upset friend to escape the scene they had all wanted to avoid at all costs.

Marcus was now crying and the sound of his cries drew the attention of both police officers and CSIs coming and going in the lower floors, and there were audible gasps as she was recognised. Calleigh knew that at any second now, Natalia was going to collapse.

'Natalia?' A stunned Ryan tried to block them from leaving. 'You're not leaving! What the hell?'

'Not now Ryan.' Calleigh said sternly, knowing that both she and Eric were going to have to do a lot of explaining and that it would need a lot of persuasion for Natalia to stay in Miami now that her secret was discovered. Marcus's cries were now deafening as they reached the exit where Eric stood, car keys in hand.

He spoke softly to her, 'Let's get you out of here.'

They ignored the crowd that had gathered, amongst them an angry Alexx, a stunned Ryan and a confused Tripp who had come on hearing the furore. As Natalia got into the hummer and before it sped off, she saw another face in the crowd. On seeing him she felt her heart momentarily stop.

Returning from another high speed chase that was not technically his jurisdiction, Horatio had been intrigued to hear a furore amongst the officers and his CSIs, and even more intrigued at the unmistakable sound of a baby's cries, and so he had investigated. What he had seen had shocked him to the very core: Natalia was back and furthermore she had a baby. It had taken him only seconds to piece together what was going on and the conclusion filled him with deep rage as he watched her leave.

In the hummer, Natalia felt herself breaking down as she kept on seeing Horatio's rage-filled face and she knew that she had to leave Miami immediately and never return. She had failed in keeping her secret: Horatio knew.


	14. The Truth Comes Out

Eric and Calleigh held each other's hands in a show of support as they entered Horatio's office. They had just returned from driving home a distraught Natalia when they had been met by an obviously angry Ryan who had informed them that Horatio wanted to see them. Silently, they had exchanged calm glances before complying with the order. The lab had been silent as they walked through with accusing stares coming from every member as if the pair were criminals fleeing a crime, but they remained unfazed. After all this was their best friend and godson they were protecting.

Horatio stood facing away from them. The veteran CSIs could tell by his stiff posture that he was furious. Finally he spoke, his voice cold and low, an almost feral and dangerous tone underlying his words. 'I want answers...now.' He turned around to face them, his eyes glinting furiously. 'You knew where Natalia was didn't you?'

Eric and Calleigh exchanged looks; deciding for once and all to come clean in the hope that Horatio would regain his senses and go after the woman he obviously adored. It was time Horatio knew the truth- all of it and it was time that he showed Natalia how he really felt.

'She was in New York working for Mac Taylor. We found out almost five months ago.'

'You should have come to me immediately!' Horatio snarled, his anger being used to cover for the pain he was experiencing.

Eric's temper flared at Horatio's outburst. He knew the Lieutenant had every right to be furious but he had no right to behave in the way he was and had been behaving to anybody-least of all a heartbroken Natalia.

'Really! The way you've been acting recently, it's a wonder you're still our boss! Your mood swings and your recklessness have gone on for too long! Do you think Natalia wants you to be hurt? Well I can tell you she would be utterly devastated if anything was to happen to you!' Eric shouted, ignoring Calleigh's warnings.

Horatio was stunned. He knew he had been acting unprofessionally but he hadn't cared. The pain at Natalia's resignation had just been too much to bear. He had wanted the pain to vanish and thought that if he pushed harder, if he took more risks then he would forget about her. But his tactics had been a dismal failure.

'She left me Eric.' Horatio whispered coldly, for once not bothering to hide his emotions, an action which was so rare it stunned both of his CSIs.

It was Calleigh who next spoke. 'Natalia left because you...She was two months pregnant with your son and because of you pulling away from her she thought you hated her and that you regretted the night...you spent with...' The Blonde blushed, 'well you know and she didn't want to hurt you.'

The silence that followed was tense as a deeply stunned Horatio came to terms with the news that it really was his son whom he had seen.

'That doesn't explain why she kept my son away from me.' H spoke finally. The hurt was evident as he thought of his other son Kyle and how he had not known about him for years. Was he really that bad a father?

'We wanted her to tell you but she was adamant. She thought you hated her and she didn't want you to feel obligated to be there for her if you didn't want to be. Nat didn't want to ruin your career- she was willing to give up everything for you. She really loves you.' Eric spoke the last part quietly, knowing Horatio was in a lot of pain.

Horatio slowly sat down. He had been such a fool; pushing away from her had been to save her career and yet she had been doing the same for him and in the midst of all this they had both had their hearts broken. He felt incredibly guilty; he didn't deserve her or his son, not after what he had done but he would try to make it up to her. He wanted her; he loved her.

With tears in his eyes he asked, 'What's my son's name?'

'Marcus Horatio Boa Vista Caine.' Eric answered, smiling at the thought of his godson.

'He's so handsome and he is the spitting image of you.' Calleigh gushed affectionately.

Horatio beamed with pride with the thought of him and Natalia actually having a child together; a child created out of love. He hoped Marcus was more like Natalia than him as Calleigh had said as if he was anything like his mother then he would be gorgeous indeed.

'Where is Natalia?' He asked, suddenly anxious.

'She's at her house...Look H you need our help. She's pretty devastated just now. This wasn't how she wanted you to find out. She's trying to flee again and we've tried to talk her out of it but she's pretty desperate.' Calleigh said as the Lieutenant had gotten to his feet and instinctively reached for his sunglasses. He stopped and realising his second in command was right, he nodded and the couple followed him out of his office.

As they walked down the lab corridors a nervous looking AV Tech Dave came towards them. 'Sir', he addressed Horatio, 'Do you remember that alert you had me put out on that convicted abuser?'

Horatio did indeed remember. Shortly after learning about Natalia's past, he had discovered which prison Nick was languishing in and as a precaution had asked Daveto put an alert on the system.

'Yes...what about it?' Horatio shifted, putting his hands on his hips as he fought the growing dread in the pit of the stomach.

'It's set of a warning.'

Horatio practically sprinted over to the screen with a worried Calleigh and Eric following.

'He's out of prison?'

'Yes. According to this alert he's been out for two weeks.'

'Why are we only hearing about this now?' Horatio asked angrily.

'Problem at the justice department.' Davereplied after searching through the database.

Eric looked at the alert that had gotten Horatio so panicked. 'Nick Townsend...that name sounds familiar.'

'Oh my god!' Calleigh exclaimed. 'Isn't Nick the name of Nat's ex?'

Dave's eyes widened as the blonde spoke. Horatio grimly nodded.

'I'll call Nat.' Eric immediately dialled the cell but there was no answer in the ominous ringing. 'No answer.'

'I'll try the house.' Calleigh quickly spoke but after a few minutes she shook her head.

Noticing Ryan walking past, Horatio called him. 'Mr Wolfe I need you to get an alert out on Nick Townsend, Natalia's ex-husband.'

On hearing this, Ryan's eyes widened and he nodded vigorously, 'On it H.'

Before Eric could redial Natalia's cell, his cell burst into life. 'It's Natalia!' And he quickly answered.

'Nat are you ok?' He asked, greatly concerned, whilst putting it on speaker.

'Eric...Nick's...Nick's here! Oh my god.' She yelled out and the CSIs heard the sound of smashing glass and wood. 'He's going to hurt Marcus!' She shrieked.

'We're on our way!' Eric reassured as they began to run through the lab, heading for the outsides and to the hummers. All the CSIs and labrats as well as Alexx and Tripp were now alerted to the situation. Tripp signalled that he, along with uniforms, would follow.

'Eric...please save Marcus.'

Her begging and the fear in her voice made Horatio's heart break. 'Natalia...I'm on my way.' He finally spoke.

There was a silence and then a sob accompanied her words. 'Horatio?'

'Sweetheart just hold on, I'm coming for you.'

'Horatio...I'm sorry! I love...' But her words were interrupted by the sound of a door being smashed in, Marcus's high pitch wails and then Natalia's ear-shattering screams before the phone went dead.

'NATALIA!' Horatio roared but there was only silence. The next few minutes felt like hours had passed as Horatio, Eric and Calleigh followed by half of the MDPD sped towards Natalia's house, their thoughts haunted by what they had heard. Horatio could only think about the panic and terror in Natalia's voice. If Nick laid a single finger upon her or his son he would kill him.

'I'm coming Natalia I promise.' Horatio vowed.

* * *

Sitting in the silver sedan, Nick had followed Natalia from the crime lab and had watched as a tall blonde woman and a Hispanic-looking man had escorted a tearful Natalia and her child inside. He felt great bubbling hatred at the sight of the child; a child that should have been his. But he would soon get rid of the infant and then the fun would really begin.

After a few minutes the man and woman left and Nick knew that she was all on her own. And so he seized his chance. He waited breathlessly after knocking at the door, eager to begin Natalia's torment. The door opened and his sadistic grin widened at the horror-struck expression on Natalia's face.

'No...It can't be...' She whimpered and instantly tried to shut the door.

But Nick was too strong for her and he forced it open. Seeing the sadistic smirk and the cruelty in his eyes, Natalia knew what it was he intended to do. It was the same as before and an infinite terror filled Natalia and her instincts took over as she grabbed a screaming Marcus and hurtled through the house, barricading herself in the nursery.

Marcus's screams of fear broke her heart as she knew she could do nothing to defend him from Nick who was now tearing the door to shreds. She knew that just moments ago Eric had phoned and she could hear the house phone in the distance; help was so close yet so far. Using her only hope, she dialled Eric.

Her heart had stopped on hearing Horatio's voice and she couldn't help the sob that escaped. Despite the terror and danger her son and her were experiencing, her only solace was that Horatio was safe. She glanced to the door which was ready to fall and she knew that she would never again have the chance to tell Horatio how she felt; even though he did not feel the same. 'Horatio...I'm sorry! I love...'

But before she could finish the door shattered and an insane-looking Nick strode towards her menacingly. Natalia tried to position herself between Nick and Marcus like a lioness protecting her cub, but she was thrown against the wall and despite her struggles Nick cruelly tore Marcus from her arms and with such infinite hatred on his face, he threw Marcus to the ground.

Natalia could hear Horatio shouting her name from the cell as she shrieked with all her might at Marcus lying on the ground, before Nick savagely threw her against the wall, smashing her cell as he did. As she impacted the wall, she could hear the sickening crunch as her ribs shattered and then there was nothing.

* * *

**As always any reviews are much appreciated. **


	15. Where Love and Hate Collide

**As always, a sincere thank you for all the support you have given me. **

**I must warn you that this chapter does contain content which some readers may find disturbing, so read at your own discretion...**

* * *

The race to Natalia's seemed to last for eternity as they negotiated the Miami traffic. For Horatio it was utterly unbearable; he was filled with a myriad of conflicting emotions at the thought of the danger Natalia and his son were in. For the first time in a very, very long time Horatio was at a complete loss at what to do.

Usually he would have a clear plan in mind and he would follow it, making sure to pursue the criminal until justice was brought. But this time it was personal. This time the victim was somebody Horatio loved and the thought of losing her, especially now when there was so much left to say, was absolutely unbearable. He needed to save Natalia and Marcus.

It had taken valuable minutes to cross the traffic-minutes which meant the difference between life and death something Horatio would not- could not- think about. He had just found her, he couldn't lose her: not again. Finally they reached Natalia's house. Before the hummer had even stopped, Horatio had jumped out and sprinted straight towards the house.

'NATALIA?! NATALIA ARE YOU THERE?

There was no need for him to break down the front door as it was already smashed to pieces and when he along with Eric, Calleigh and Tripp entered, their guns drawn, they found a scene of utter devastation. In the lounge, ornaments were smashed, and books, baby toys and other debris littered the floor. Horatio shook with a mixture of dread and rage.

'Oh god.' Calleigh breathed and the other men glanced over to where the blonde's eyes were fixated on. There on the floor was a small pool of blood.

Horatio felt his rage intensify to new heights and if the blood belonged to Natalia or to Marcus then Nick would pay beyond his darkest nightmares. Calleigh and Tripp moved off towards the back of the house, searching for Natalia whilst Eric and Horatio did the same.

'Natalia?' Eric yelled, searching the kitchen and bedroom whilst Horatio lamely followed, feeling like all the life had been sucked out of him.

'Natalia?' But again there was no response. Calleigh and Tripp also shook their heads as they returned from their search.

Tripp was about to speak but Eric held up his hand to silence him as he heard a quiet sound coming from nearby. Silently, Eric followed the noise which led to the nursery, fear in his every step. Reaching the door, he stopped in horror at the sight that greeted him. The nursery which he had so lovingly laboured on had been trashed. As his eyes trailed the mess he saw a tiny hand which stuck out from underneath the overturned bassinet.

'Marcus!' Crying out, he ran over to the bassinet, gently pulling it off an awake Marcus. Hearing his cries, Calleigh and Horatio ran through whilst Tripp began to order his men to begin a search for Natalia. Calleigh instantly rushed to her lover's side whereas Horatio stood frozen at the door, transfixed by the beautiful baby Eric held in his arms- his son.

'Shush it's alright I've got you.'

Eric tried to calm the now crying infant whilst Calleigh lovingly stroked her godson's cheek; furious at the bruises and scratches on an otherwise unhurt Marcus. She would take great pleasure in watching Nick die. Like Alexx she was a mama-bear when it came to the CSIs and nobody dared hurt them least of all her boyfriend, her best friend and her godson. Horatio's trance was only broken by Calleigh turning to him and speaking quietly. 'I'll go help Frank.'

Once she had gone, Eric turned to Horatio. 'H, this is Marcus.'

Horatio walked towards them and carefully took his crying son in his arms. There was a moment where the world stopped as he gazed into his son's bright eyes- his eyes- and then he spoke, softer than Eric had ever heard him speak before. 'Shush...It's ok. I've got you...Daddy's got you.'

Eric watched in wonder as the Lieutenant's whole face lit up as Marcus's eyes stared in to his and slowly the baby ceased to cry. As he held his son he could not deny the incredible and unbreakable love that swelled through his heart. His and Natalia's son was beautiful. Although his conception had been unplanned, Horatio would never regret that night with Natalia. His son was perfect.

Despite his fear for Natalia and his fury towards Nick, Horatio was utterly entranced by his son.

'Hello there.' He spoke gently, so unlike the Horatio Caine his enemies-and his CSIs- knew. Marcus, in an action that stole his heart forever, wrapped his tiny hand around Horatio's finger.

'It's ok son, we're going to save mummy.' He vowed.

The next short while went in a blur for Horatio as CSIs arrived to process the house, alerts and news feeds were put across the city and paramedics arrived to care for Marcus. Alexx had also arrived and had promised to accompany Marcus; vowing to ensure that he received the best care in Miami. To his CSIs, it seemed as though their usually stoic boss was in a daze, unable to think or act, frozen in pain but the truth was in addition to being in wrenching pain, he was absolutely besotted and in awe of his son. His hair, smile and olive skin was Natalia's but his cheeks, hands, brow and large piercing eyes were very much Caine traits. All in all Marcus was utterly adorable.

The thought that Nick had tried to kill his beautiful son-and the marks that acted as evidence-made him murderous. It was with great difficulty that he had handed Marcus over to the paramedics and an already doting Alexx who looked like a child at Christmas with the arrival of a new member of her CSI family.

'H, we've been searching through records of Natalia and Nick's life together trying to see if there is anywhere of significance he may take her...but so far...I haven't found anything.' Eric spoke softly.

'We have to find her Eric.' Horatio whispered brokenly. He loved her; he needed her, his son needed her.

'We will H.' Eric vowed fiercely.

The reverie Horatio found himself was broken by the sound of his cell ringing and reluctantly he glanced down at it, his heart momentarily stopping as he saw the caller ID. 'It's Natalia!' He shouted and instantly Eric, Calleigh and Frank were by his side-Eric tracking the call, whilst Calleigh and Frank listened. Horatio quickly put it on loudspeaker.

'Natalia?' His voice was full of desperation but his blood ran cold as the voice which answered him was definitely not Natalia.

'Afraid not, she's a little tied up at the moment.' The voice was cold and full of malice. Horatio found himself shaking with intense rage. 'You bastard!'

Both Eric and Frank had to restrain Horatio from jumping at the cell.

Icy laughter greeted his words. 'Ah and you must be Lieutenant Caine.' They all could hear the trace of a smirk in his voice. 'So you're Nat's lover and the father of her son...you know I must say I am quite surprised...she never was one for red heads. But still she is now back where she belongs.'

'You have no right to her!' Horatio spat venomously.

'I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO HER!' Nick roared in a fit of temper but then suddenly he calmed again, his voice cold and menacing, devoid of all the heat it had held previously. 'I was kind in leaving you your son...but I have something very special planned for Nat and I'm afraid that you will not be seeing her again.'

'When I find you', Horatio's voice was ice, the hatred clear for all to see, 'and I will find you...I'm going to rip you apart!'

All that he was met with in response was maniacal laughter before the line went dead. Horatio was silent for a moment, breathing deeply, trying to get his hatred back under control. He would kill Nick! He would utterly destroy him! Eric took an obviously shaken Calleigh into his arms, pressing a kiss upon her head, before turning back to his mentor, 'We'll save her H, and we'll kill him'. Horatio could only nod in response.

For the next fifteen or so minutes, Horatio sat in the hummer, feeling utterly helpless as all about him CSIs and cops ran about and above there was the sound of helicopters, scouring the city from above for any sign of Nick's car. All major news channels had been alerted to the kidnapping of a CSI and the city was in lockdown. But still there was no sign. He couldn't live without Natalia; he couldn't bear the thought of raising their son without her. 'H', Calleigh called, striding towards him, 'Ryan found something back at the lab.'

Horatio looked up eagerly.

She passed the ipad to Horatio where on the screen was Ryan who was back at the lab. 'H I found some trace on the floor in the lounge next to the blood pool.'

Horatio flinched as just minutes before the blood had been confirmed to belong to Natalia.

'It is a type of bacterial sponge found in the Everglades.'

'Wait a minute.' Eric interrupted, also coming over, his brow furrowing in thought and then he grabbed his ipad and flicked through some files before passing it to Horatio. 'It says here that Nick's father had a small boat hut on the glades. It's an isolated area. I think he's taken her there.'

'Then let's go.' Horatio put on his sunglasses before rushing to the hummer, Eric, Calleigh and Tripp in pursuit with squad car after squad car raring to go behind. 'We're coming Natalia, we're coming.' Horatio communicated through his thoughts, hoping beyond all hope that she was still alive.


	16. Dead Or Alive?

**Warning- this chapter contains violence which some may find distressing so please read at your own discretion.**

* * *

The first thing she became aware of was the pain; the gnawing, piercing, heart-stopping pain shooting through her chest, constricting her lungs, making it difficult for her to breathe. As her eyesight focused she saw that she lay on a hard old wooden floor and she could feel that her hands were bound by plastic ribbon.

As she looked upwards she could see that the room she lay in had wooden panels for the walls as though she was in a shed. Glancing to her left she noticed that an old rustic boat was tethered to a pillar and she instantly recognised where Nick had taken her- to her ex-father in law's boat shed in the glades. When they had first started dating, Nick had taken her here as a private, romantic retreat and Natalia thought it ironic that he was going to use a former date site as the place to abuse and then, most probably, murder her.

Groaning, she tried to get up, but the pain through her chest prevented her from doing so. She could taste blood running down from her nose where Nick had so brutally punched her back at her house. After she had lost consciousness, Nick had proceeded to trash Marcus's nursery, taking the full force of his disgust at the boy out on his room.

Natalia, hearing Nick's savage snarls, had woken and ignoring the pain from what felt like shattered ribs, she had attacked, trying desperately to defend Marcus from Nick's evil intentions. What had resulted was Nick dragging her by the hair into the living room where he had thrown her against the walls and across her furniture. She had tried ever so hard to defend herself but there was nothing she could do against his strength.

In the end, Nick had punched her across the face, almost certainly breaking her nose and once more she slipped into the veil of unconsciousness. And now here she lay in the boat house.

She had heard Nick's phone call to Horatio and it sickened her. Red-hot fury had risen in her at Nick's threats towards the man she loved and she prayed that no matter what he would be safe and so too would Marcus. Horatio could not come after her it was far too dangerous. Natalia hoped beyond all hope that Horatio would accept his son and be the great father to him that she knew he could be so that at least Marcus had one parent.

No matter what Nick did to her, Horatio could not come after her. He had to survive for Marcus's sake. She would never forgive herself if Horatio was hurt in pursuit of her. He could not be foolish enough to sacrifice himself for her. She needed him to be better than that for their son.

Another wave of nauseating pain flooded her nerves and it took of all of her willpower to pull herself up. The plastic dug deep into her flesh, no doubt drawing blood just as Nick had intended. As quietly as she could she began to try and pull her hands out of the bindings but she quickly realised that it was impossible.

'Darling Natalia...' She looked up fearfully at an approaching Nick.

'You stay away from me!' Although her voice sounded strong, Nick gleefully noticed the underlying tremor.

'Now why would I want to do that?' He smirked evilly and without any preamble he grabbed her by the hair and pulled her to her feet.

Natalia shrieked with the pain but before she could recover, Nick brutally slapped her squarely across the face, sending her down once more onto the ground. Scrambling, she tried to get up but Nick kicked her with such force that she was winded and it felt as though her blood was on fire.

'You thought you could escape me huh? You thought you could just leave me! Well I have news for you Natalia. You're mine, you'll always be mine. You'll never be free of me.'

He then knelt down beside her and began to work the buckle of his belt, grinning at her as the colour drained from her face. No...She didn't belong to him anymore; she was Horatio's.

Once the buckle was undone, he began to undo his pants and that was enough of what Natalia could bear. She clawed at him, tearing at the skin on his face like an animal defending itself from a predator. Nick yelled out in pain and he grabbed Natalia's arm, hoping to break it like he had done before.

But Natalia was having none of that and using his own strength against him, she bit down on Nick's hand, piercing his skin with her teeth. Nick howled. Shoving her off him, he struck her savagely across the face. Then came a punch to the stomach, then another to the chest and then he resorted back to kicking her in the stomach, all the while Natalia shrieked in agony. She tried to retreat into herself as a coping mechanism, concentrating on thoughts of Marcus and Horatio but the pain, the burning, breathtaking pain was too much to ignore.

Finally a panting Nick needed a break and he calmly walked over to a bench in the hut, grabbing his bottle of beer and taking great gulps of it whilst observing a whimpering Natalia on the floor. 'Oh Natalia I'm very disappointed...Now that you're a CSI I was expecting a little more than your usual cry baby methods. But after all...I should have known it would be like this...you are so weak.'

For a moment Natalia succumbed to her fate, realising that Nick was right but then she heard Horatio's voice, as clearly as if he were in the room, and she remembered back to their one night together where he had murmured the words: 'Natalia you are the strongest person I know.' She drew strength from his words; Horatio was right she was not weak! She was strong and she would not allow Nick to do this to her not now.

Slowly, carefully she began to get to her feet, her body burning with the slightest movement and it took all of her willpower not to cry out because of the pain she was experiencing. Not noticing what his ex-wife was doing, Nick turned his back for just a brief second, naively thinking he was safe and Natalia seized her chance: she pounced on his back.

Nick yelled out in agony as she used her full body strength against him, knocking him and his beer bottle which smashed on impact, to the floor. Natalia was careful to avoid the glass shards as she rolled over and grappled to her feet, limping towards the door. But just as she reached it, strong arms grabbed her and she let out a piercing shriek as Nick turned her around to look directly into her eyes.

'You're going to pay for that!'

Some of his spit landed on her face and she shuddered in disgust. The force of his punch knocked her to the ground and before she had time to recover, Nick punched her again and soon she was lying under a volley of punches and kicks, tears streaming down her face as she screamed for Horatio to save her.

Finally Nick stopped but her relief was short-lived as she watched in unadulterated horror as Nick picked up a large shard of glass from the broken beer bottle and began to walk towards her, smirking with sheer cruelty.

'No...no...NO!' She screamed and put her arms up to defend herself as he tried to slash her with the glass. Natalia could feel the blood dribbling down her stinging arms.

The minute he had taken away the glass from her arms, intending to use it on her face, Natalia shoved him with all her strength and before Nick had the chance to recover, she kicked him squarely in the groin causing him to fall to the floor of the hut, roaring in pain.

Running solely on adrenaline, Natalia made it to the door, tearing at the lock until finally it gave way and then she was outside in the glades. The pain and the terror she was experiencing made her unable to concentrate on her surroundings and so she had set off in any direction through the grassland and swamplands, praying that Nick was incapacitated long enough for her to get away.

But her prayers went unanswered as she heard his unmistakable roar of fury not far behind her and she could hear his thunderous footsteps chasing her. Even though Natalia ran as fast as she could, she knew she would be unable to evade Nick, as her injuries were taking a large part of her energy. She ignored the blood trickling from her face and from her arms, and she ignored the fire in her chest, concentrating on running through the grasslands, not falling into any swamp areas or tripping over the large roots which periodically stuck out of the ground.

From both his shouts of fury, and by glances over her shoulder, Natalia knew Nick was close behind but she refused to surrender. She would go down fighting with all her strength.

In the distance she was sure she heard the sound of a helicopter and of sirens blaring, but she could not stop; she knew she had to keep on going. Every step was agonizing and sweat dripped from every pore of her body, mingling with her blood and tears. Her piercing shriek ripped through the air as Nick grabbed her, throwing her onto the ground with all his might.

Looking down at her cowering form on the ground, his face was filled with savage hatred and sadism and Natalia knew then that she was going to die. Her body began to involuntarily spasm with terror as she watched him take out a broken shard of glass from his beer bottle and raise it above his head, ready to stab her with it. She knew he wanted her to plead with him; beg, on her hands and knees for mercy but she would never give him the satisfaction. So instead she merely lay there, waiting for the inevitable.

'Goodbye Natalia.' Nick grinned.

It was then that everything seemed to go in slow motion. Natalia kept her eyes fixed on the shard as it approached her, directed at her stomach. It would be painful; that she knew, but it would also be quick. She closed her eyes.

But then something happened- a noise; a bang that reverberated around the glades, and she could hear Nick's grunts of pain before she heard a large thud as something or someone impacted the ground. Everything was silent for a moment. All she heard was the sound of her shuddering breaths and then she let out a scream as strong arms enveloped her.

'Natalia! Natalia sweetheart, you're safe! I've got you. It's over, it's over.'

She recognised the voice anywhere and so she opened her eyes. 'Horatio?'

'I'm here. You're safe.'

She stared up into his bright orbs, relief swelling up inside her. She really was safe. 'Nick?' She gasped out before following Horatio's gaze to where, next to her, Nick's lifeless body was sprawled on the ground, two gaping bullet wounds in his chest. Natalia began to sob deeply and she cuddled into Horatio's arms. As he held her, Horatio was mindful of the blood; the sight of her badly beaten body making him wish that he could have made Nick suffer even more.

'I've got you Natalia. You're alive, you're safe. I've got you.' Horatio soothed quietly, pressing a kiss onto her forehead as she stayed clinging to his arms.

For the first time in a long time, she felt truly safe and whilst ignoring her agony, she let her exhaustion control her and she fell asleep in Horatio's arms.

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**You know the drill, reviews are appreciated. **


	17. Reunion

**And now the chapter I know a lot of you have been waiting for...**

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Horatio sat by Natalia's side as she slept peacefully. She lay on the hospital bed, the only movement as she slept the rising and falling of her chest as she breathed. She looked like a child; an expression on her face of innocence and peace. The only hint of the terror she had faced just two days before were the bruises and cuts that littered her body as well as a black eye. A bandage was wrapped tightly around her chest in order to protect her broken ribs.

Marcus slept in the nursery, under the watchful eyes of Alexx who had already gathered the CSIs and bought a large cuddly lion, which sat next to Marcus's cot along with his dog. Horatio had been in often to watch over his son who had, much to everybody's relief, been declared to be in excellent health-the only injuries he had sustained had been bruising and cuts from when he had impacted the nursery floor.

Whilst Natalia slept, Horatio had many hours of silence to re-evaluate his life and what he wanted from it. For many years his only family had been Raymond, Yelina and Ray Jnr., and he had been content with that as he had another family in the form of his CSIs and his life had revolved around the lab.

The appearance of Kyle though had changed that and Horatio had the experience of having the greatest and most challenging job in the world- to be a father. But Kyle had been on the cusp of adulthood when they had found each other and although he would always be there for his son, Kyle did not need him as much as he would have done during his childhood. But now he had a chance to actually be there for one of his sons, to be there every step of the way and to finally have a family-something he had long ago given up hope of ever having.

As soon as he had been told Natalia would survive, he had phoned Kyle in Afghanistan to tell him of the news. Although at first Kyle had been shocked he had quickly come around to the idea of being a big brother and was now excited to be heading home from the war.

Horatio Caine was ready to have a family. But he knew that it was not as simple as that. He would have to persuade Natalia that he loved her, and beg for her forgiveness. But he was determined to succeed. He loved her and he wanted to be with her- and Marcus- for the rest of his days.

A soft knock at the door of Natalia's room broke Horatio out of his thoughts and he glanced up to find Eric standing there. Sensing that the younger man wished to talk to him, Horatio got up from his seat and walked to the door, glancing at Natalia with a look of utter adoration before following Eric. The Cuban took him to an isolated part of the hospital corridor and turned to face Horatio; a determined look on his face.

'H, I know you love Nat...I can see it...but I want to know if you are serious about being with her. Because if you're not, if you're only doing this because you think it's the right thing to do then just walk away. If you're not gonna be there every step of the way then don't be there at all. You broke her heart the last time H...I won't let you hurt her or my godson again. Got it?' He pointed at the Lieutenant.

Horatio successfully resisted smiling at Eric's protective speech. He was glad Eric and Calleigh had been there for Natalia and he had no doubt that Eric would hurt him terribly if he was to hurt Natalia.

Horatio inhaled deeply, 'Eric I have no intention of hurting Natalia. I want to be there for her and for Marcus. I am not going to leave her; not again.'

Eric nodded approvingly before his brow furrowed. 'I know that when Natalia wakes up you're gonna want to talk about everything with her resignation and Marcus...and I know that you're angry with her for keeping it a secret. I understand that- really I do but I want you to listen to her and not just jump down her throat. You need to listen to her side of the story...you need to understand why she did what she did. If you can't do that then you shouldn't be here. Nat's been through so much, she shouldn't have to go through anymore.'

Horatio breathed deeply, understanding what Eric meant. To begin with he had been incandescent with Natalia but now after all that had happened and after having time to think about it, he knew it was the wrong attitude to adopt. If he wanted to be part of Natalia's life then he was going to have to listen to what she told him; however much it hurt him.

'I know Eric. I promise I'll listen.'

'Good.' The younger man patted his back before grinning; 'now go and win Natalia back huh?'

'Will do.' Horatio smiled as he headed back to her room.

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The first thing Natalia became aware of as she surfaced from oblivion was the slight pressure on her left hand, as though someone was squeezing it. Then there was the soft sound of a beeping from some sort of machinery. Slowly her eyelids flickered as she willed them to open. At last she succeeded, only to close them almost instantly as the light proved to be too bright. But again she tried, and this time she successfully kept them opened. As she moved to look at the person gripping her hand, a bolt of pain passed through her chest and she winced.

'Natalia?' It was Horatio who held her hands.

'Horatio...what...where am I?' Her voice was hoarse.

'You're in Dade County Hospital.'

She bolted upright, looking around desperately at the room, ignoring the agony this action had caused her. 'Marcus...where's Marcus?'

'Relax...He's safe. He's in the nursery. He only has cuts and bruises.' Horatio placed his hand upon her arm, forcing her to lie back down. They stared at each other in silence, each trying to work out what the other was thinking. Finally Natalia broke the tense silence.

'H...I...um can explain everything. I really...You have every right to be angry.'

Horatio ignored her attempted explanation and instead got straight to the point. 'Why didn't you tell me about my son?'

Natalia bit her lip nervously. 'I couldn't.'

'Why not?' Horatio's tone was patient; disguising the turmoil and desperation within.

She let out a deep, weary sigh and then began to speak. 'I didn't want to ruin your career. It was just one night Horatio...a mistake. You're my superior. I wasn't about to let some stupid drunken action on my part ruin your life or the career you have spent years building.'

'Natalia I would have been there for you, I would have supported you.' Horatio spoke hoarsely.

'That's the point.' Natalia raised her voice, tears beginning to fall as she remembered the impossible choice she had been faced with. 'You would have supported me, I know that, and that's because you are a good man Horatio. But I couldn't let you do that. I had to leave. I couldn't tell you about Marcus. If I'd told you, then IAB would have been all over it. You would have lost everything. I couldn't do that to you. You don't deserve that Horatio. I had to make sure that you were happy.'

'Even though you weren't?' Horatio interrupted, watching Natalia as she fought to control her tears.

Finally she answered with one word that conveyed all the pain she had been feeling since that fateful night, and with such emotion it broke Horatio's heart. 'Yes.'

'Why Natalia?' His voice was shaking; the emotion in his eyes plain to see.

'Because...because you are the kindest, most handsome, most caring and most incredible man I've ever met. And you don't deserve somebody as damaged or as big a screw up as me. After that night I could see how much you regretted it and when I found out that I was pregnant, I didn't want to make the situation worse. I wasn't about to ruin your life for something you regretted doing. So I left. I heard that there was a job going in New York so I went there. I told no one about the pregnancy in case word got back to Miami...to you.'

Tears were now streaming down her face as she relived the nightmares and the turmoil of her pregnancy. Horatio listened silently, knowing he had to hear it all; no matter how much it hurt him.

'It wasn't till I had a routine police check up that Mac and Stella found out but they agreed to keep my secret. When Eric and Calleigh found me, I was five months pregnant and the only reason they found out as well was because I collapsed at a crime scene.'

She flinched from Horatio's look of anger and concern.

'Please don't be mad at them for not telling you...they wanted too so much but I begged them not to. I knew you would come to New York and I couldn't have that. I didn't even want to return to Miami once Marcus was born but I had promised Cal and...I'm sorry Horatio. I'm really sorry. You have every right to hate me but please don't be mad at Cal and Eric.' Natalia finished, panting from the exertion of speaking for so long.

Silence filled the room. Natalia found that she could not look to Horatio, knowing that he must hate her. She understood it and deserved it. She had brought him so much pain- so much embarrassment. She really was a monster. There was no way he would ever return any feelings towards someone as disgusting as her. What she had done was simply unforgivable.

Horatio's mind was in overdrive. Natalia was wrong. He had no right to hate her; not that he ever could. Although he was hurt at her deception, he understood the reasoning behind it all, even if he could not comprehend why she had sacrificed so much for him. Why would someone as beautiful and as amazing as Natalia Boa Vista be willing to sacrifice so much for someone like him?

Horatio Caine had never before felt such profound guilt. He had put her, the woman he loved above all else, through hell. After all that he had done, he did not deserve her. It should be him begging for forgiveness not her. If it had not been for his cruel ignorance and avoidance of her, none of it- her resigning, moving to New York, Nick's attack -would have happened. The sound of Natalia's sobs made him realise that he had taken too long for a response and he leant forward, cupping her head with his hands, forcing her to look into his baby blue orbs.

'Natalia I could never hate you.' His voice was quiet and it took a minute for Natalia to understand what he was saying.

'Don't Horatio...you have every right to hate me.' She sobbed, trying to pull away from his gaze.

'I don't hate you Natalia. I love you.' Natalia's eyes widened at the admittance of the thing that he had been hiding for so long. The great, strong, enigmatic Horatio Caine was head over heels in love with Natalia.

'You...can't mean...that.' Natalia stuttered. 'How can you love me?' She shook her head fiercely in denial. It was too good to be true. He was only saying it to make her feel better.

'I do. I love you Natalia. I've loved you for a long time and I have been such a fool. I wasn't pushing you away because I regretted our night together. I was pushing you away to protect you. I love you and I love Marcus.'

Natalia was shocked into silence. Then she spoke. 'I love you too Horatio.'

And in that moment Horatio pulled her towards him carefully, enveloping her in a tight embrace as though they never could bare to be parted from one another. Horatio lightly kissed Natalia on the forehead as tears of unadulterated joy and happiness welled up in her eyes. And although he would never admit it, and she would never tell, there were tears in Horatio's eyes too.

They stayed like that for a while; drawing comfort from one another's arms, surrendering to the powerful feelings they had kept so tightly locked up for so long. Finally they were together; free from Nick, and for the time being free from Stetler. It was with great reluctance that Natalia pulled out of the embrace, wincing as she did as pain flashed through her ribs.

Horatio's knees practically buckled at the smile she directed at him. 'I think it's time H that you properly meet your son.'

Horatio could only smile in response.

It took only a minute after Horatio asked one of the nurses to bring Marcus through that the young infant's cot was wheeled into the room. Instantly, Marcus was placed into Natalia's arms and she looked down adoringly at her son, trying to ignore the cuts and bruises that Nick had inflicted upon him.

'Hello there. I'm here, Mama's here. I'm sorry...I'm so sorry.' Natalia cried with joy and relief and Horatio found himself again with tears in his eyes as he watched the two people he loved most in the world.

'H', Natalia turned towards him, smiling broadly, 'Here's your son.'

Horatio silently accepted the boy into his arms, feeling the rush of unmistakable love as he held his son once again. In that moment, Horatio finally found his place in the world. As Marcus rested in his father's arms, Natalia stoked his cheek adoringly, feeling her heart was about to burst with the sheer love she felt for the two males in her life. This family had almost been lost to her through Nick's brutal attack but she had survived and knew now that she was stronger for it. She had survived all the heartache and pain and had been rewarded. Finally everything in her life was complete.

Looking up from his son, Horatio felt his heart clench at how beautiful and happy Natalia looked. Even in her hospital gown and with the lacerations that marked her body, she was absolutely stunning. Unable to resist, he leant towards her and, realising what he intended, Natalia leant forwards, their lips connecting passionately. Finally they were a family; Horatio, Natalia and Marcus. And for just once, everything was alright in the world.

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**As always your support is welcomed and appreciated. One more chapter left. **


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